ihityouinthenose

2/10/16

That’s... that’s what happened.

1/16/16

No one snickered behind my back because my friends and family aren’t douchebags like you seem to be. I feel sad for you. You have my pity.

1/14/16

well, just because it doesn’t pertain to you, or find it interesting, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have value.

1/6/16

Sell your computer.

1/5/16

Can you come by and push my clutch in every morning? It’ll just take a second.

10/18/15

Did he say it was a legal obligation? Chill the fuck out you spaz.

9/23/15

No, its not. Whether you liked the movie or not is subjective, I’m sure plenty of other people in the theater liked it. This is why people read movie reviews, etc. and decide to wait until movies are out on video or to skip them altogether.

9/23/15

You are not a reasonable person

9/14/15

Eh, just like religion and vegetarianism the atheists you want to hang out with are the ones for whom it’s just a part of who they are instead of something they wave around in order to feel superior to everyone else.

9/9/15

Please... PLEASE, Apple... please use 3D Touch on the keyboard to type capital letters without having to use Shift. Please. Did I say please?

9/8/15

No one owes you shit.

8/26/15

For the curious:

8/6/15

It’s like a gift card. Batman buys them prepaid.

7/14/15

I wouldn’t mind either a Kindle Voyage or the new Paperwhite. Hopefully those go on sale.

7/9/15

Okay The Strain, you’ve got one more chance to win me over. I put up with an entire season of poor pacing, plotting, dialogue and some of the dumbest characters this side of Gotham. I’ll give it four episodes, and if you haven’t improved, I’m out!

6/30/15

Biased in favor of... facts?

6/27/15

I'm totes atheist but when he co-pilots this kind of stuff, then I'm down with Jesus.

6/23/15

I just want to take this time to state how much I hate my student loans. Thank you.

5/26/15

Bahahaha. At my last job servers often forgot about tables outside because they were technically section-less and on a busy day it can be an easy mistake. A classic move would be to go outside just like you’re checking things out and then ask “you guys have been sitting here a while, have you been served yet? Ugh I’ll…

7/31/12

Only a cop would suggest you say something like this to a cop. Just...wow. A cop that needs his ego stroked to that extent so that he can do his job in a mature way should not be allowed to hold that position.