Toothpaste! Especially on silver or other tarnished metals. For the buildup, GENTLY buffing with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser should get the layer of gunk off. Also, for any non-porous, non-basic materials, rinsing with vinegar can get rid of the smell.

I've got a sizeable tummy, so it's easy for me to pretend to be a few months pregnant. This may be an option one day...

...but...but... FREEDOM?

I make no secrets of my terrible taste in music and movies. My LastFM is 90% showtunes... the shitty ones.

Nope! Can't say I have.

I don't know about birds, but my cat loves 60's folk-pop. Paul Simon is a favorite. She meows along to the music.

It's public record, y'all. You can search it yourself. This newspaper is just doing the work for you,.

Yes, because asparagus pee is a great addition to beer shits.

No, but tell us how you REALLY feel.

Okay fine. Time to unveil my potential nonprofit in the works.

Not a toy per se, but my first elementary school's playground was built into solid concrete.

Also the kid from Newsies. You know, if you like your historical fiction heavy on the fiction side. Also if you like movies about unions from the company whose founder was notoriously anti-union.

Enya.

The more I hear about this shiz, the more I think putting middle schoolers into solitary confinement until they show maturity sounds like a good idea.

Yeop. Thankfully, my neuroses made me get a mole checked out that turned out to be abnormal/possibly pre-cancerous. So now my hypochondria feels validated.

Yep. When I was first getting my meds sorted out for my anxiety disorder, I could barely eat. It suuuuucked.

Cool, then my anxiety-disorder-having ass is gonna live forever.

Not sure if mentally ill or just an asshole. Or maybe both.

I'm of two minds on this article. On the one hand, I fully support technology fasts and learning to depend on your own brainpower when possible. I like going off the grid, be it for an hour or a week, just to prove that I can. It's an ego thing.

I'm being laid off from my current job. Is it better to say "laid off" or the more polite, "my position was eliminated"? I feel like the latter sounds like I'm covering something up, but I don't know if employers would see it that way or not.