JELLY BEAN TOES!

I missed Show Your Squee last night, so here's a picture of my kitty! She's currently curled up in a catnip catnap at the end of my bed.

She's nominated for a GG, so I thought I'd watch it. I have no fucking clue what is happening, though. The timeline is weird.

My kitty cat! She's running around the apartment like a mad woman, demanding that I pet her every 15 minutes, and is high on catnip.

My mom keeps any gift bags she receives and recycles them each year. For family gifts, she takes the bags back after we've opened the presents. We haven't bought gift bags in years.

Or, for a seasonal scent, you can use cocoa butter and peppermint essential oil. It smells like a peppermint mocha latte. Plus the cocoa butter is extra-moisturizing.

Christmas shots: 1 part peppermint schnapps, 1 part chocolate syrup.

They sell heated plush toys at pet stores for orphaned animals. As long as she doesn't go crazy for chew toys, that might provide some help.

Well, I'm officially being laid off. Time for the job search to become a full-scale job hunt.

I like the replacement method. For instance, I invented my Friendship Cookies (long story on the name... don't worry about it) by taking an oatmeal-raisin-chocolate chip cookie recipe and replacing the raisins with craisins and the chips with white chocolate chips. Result: fucking delicious.

Bar Mitzvahs, on the other hand...

My friend did, I think, the best compromise re: booze on her wedding. Beer and wine were complimentary, but hard liquor was cash-only. It kept Drunk Uncle from getting too boozy, and all us poor college kids happy. Win/win.

Michigan is the Florida of the Midwest.

Precisely.

Can I just ride on his back?

BUT YOUZE GUISE! IF YOU REMODEL THE KITCHEN, YOUR SILLY WIFE WON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS. BECAUSE IT'LL LOOK DIFFERENT, SEE, AND SHE DOESN'T LEAVE THE KITCHEN, SEE...

I don't understand how anyone could harm an animal ever. It breaks my heart into a zillion pieces.

And that is the TRUE meaning of Christmas.

THOSE CRAZY WIMMENZ AND THEIR CHOCOLATE AMIRITE?

Guiiiiise I'm not comfortable with how much I like that Taylor Swift song. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME???