My local fast food joint can’t be arsed/remember to leave the onion off my burger do you think they’ll be able to magically concoct a mega burger with numerous ingredients? No.

Agh! I can’t star you.

Mr I Did Not Think This Through hired a lady who was an 11. I mean this woman was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Was I jealous, nervous? No, because I love and trust my Husband and if I ever felt differently then shame on me. That’s my take anyway.

Who would play who? My money is on Josh Brolin as Bronx. He doesn't follow the law...he tells the law to go f**k itself!

She is not ‘caught in the middle’. She wrote a screenplay, starred in a film. You know who is caught in the middle? The American fucking government. The NRA. POTUS. Mental health support, the list goes on. Jesus Christ, stop it. Just, stop it.

She might as well use COMIC SANS and then we would really know the end is nigh.

Why is she standing like she's trying to keep a small animal warm near her vagina?

Can I star again?

I genuinely believe he enjoys what he does and is interested in what you have to say. Either that or he’s damned good. At this point, I don’t care either way. If that’s the case he fooled me and won me over.

Wait no, these are English Muffins. WHEN WILL THIS END?

I met HRH two weeks ago, he is genuinely the most personable, good natured person. He was lovely and I served him tea (Earl Grey, milk, honey) and he said thank you and all was right with the world.

I’m British, they’re not crumpets. They’re biscuits. You call them cookies. These are crumpets.

I hate you Kinja.

Yes, yes it is. It was the original design for the Star Trek original series episode Operation Annihilate! but Rodenberry said “Fuck that!”.

A gaggle?

I the UK we simply ask “Have you ever buggered a rent boy?” No? You’ve got the job! Oh you have? You’ve got the job anyway!

No uterus’ allowed! You’re fired!