I thought the purpose of timeshares was so you could attend a 2-hour presentation in exchange for some sweet, sweet free Disney tickets?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE CAR PEOPLE lol

Seems like this joke is flying over peoples heads

Yes but will they fly off in a 60 MPH wind?

Agreed! Loved it in my old ‘99 9-5, worked perfectly plus was an ideal smartphone holder.

Our dog was a stray on the Indian reservation and they do roundups of dogs - just skin and bones, like something you’d see in a ASPCA ad. I don’t know her history, but she’s terrified of strangers. So she runs away and is super hard to track down because she’s street smart and great at hiding. 

I think I know...

Sounds like you created uBear Eats.

Allison, please update this with when this idiot is charged with feeding the bear. That is how people become bear chow. 

Hell, man, now I want to know where your cat goes. Set up a go fund me and I’ll send you $25 right now. 

If the next person doesn’t give the bear a sandwich and the bear mauls that person, it will be the bear who is killed, and not the idiot with the mushroom haircut in the video.  That’s not fair to the bear or the rest of society.

“Three in the morning? In...

1. Always know where the fire extinguisher is before starting something flamable

What if teddy bear?

6 out of 5 wheels struggle with math.

If it doesn’t stink, go ahead and drink.

TBH, I don’t think she’d let me use it -- it’s her toy, after all.

how much with Egypt pay to not have them just sink it in the canal again and walk away?

Lots of incredibly shitty takes about this guy’s name here. Takeout regulars, I thought most of you were better than this.

Oh boy. *cracks knuckles* this is my moment.