I’m really hoping they’ll make some toys with profits going to charities that he’s bound to hate.

He’ll think that’s a move by Russian prostitutes.

TYrump wants a ride down the Mall in the golden coach, but only if the government can promise that no one in London will be nasty to him.

Those 12 new inditements in the US are going to complicate his annual review with Putin.

Melania’s PA is also arguing with the press, saying he arrived before the Brexit vote.

It was nice of him to pop over and smash a few more holes in our boat though.

He apologised to May for the interview* - is this a first?

He brought up his uncle and nuclear again. In case anyone forgot the first time this came up:

The organisers say they have enough money for a World tour!

There’s a press conference between him and May later today - the BBC’s White House correspondent, John Sopel, has just said on Radio 4 that it is going to be ‘a collector’s item’.

He’s going through his old favourites. All he needs to do now is complain about some wind turbines and retweet some fascists to complete the set.

Hmmmm I hadn’t thought of it quite like that. Aren’t we lucky?

Woohoo! the UK leg of this shitshow is in full flow - and I think Trump might just have surpassed himself.

I’m secretly hoping the Queen has a copy and suggests watching a video whilst they take tea tomorrow.

‘Seriously. How the fuck does he still have a job?’

That’s not quite true - many of them are orange.

John Crace’s sketch in The Guardian is worth a read:

I’m beginning to suspect that atheists make the best the theologicians.

“They like me a lot in the UK.”

Britain doesn’t have a great history of building massive airships - it could end in a massive catastrophe with equal measures of national humiliation and despair - oh I see where you’re going with this...