Dang. Not one mention of ‘The Hike’

If there’s one team I love watching shoot off their dicks with a 12 gauge, its the Cowboys.

If we’re going to do one cool and good thing before what will almost certainly be a miserable rebuilding year, it might as well be dismissing the Cowboys to their rightful place in Hell. I’ll take it.

I used to be a bouncer at a Chicago nightclub that was usually people’s 3rd-5th stop of the night - I didn’t even go in until midnight, and it was dead until 1 (closed at 4am weekdays, 5am Sat). Pretty standard dress code posted by the door (which, honestly, I thought I could live with - nobody wants actual…

Nightmare fuel.

I’m more interested in his Value Over Replacement Dad ranking, as I think that’s a more accurate measurement.

That’s what I love about the video, he gets nailed right in the balls and instead of rolling out, which was clearly still an option, his mind said:
“No no...let’s see what happens next.”

I’m just going to tabloid guess on this, and say he’s pulling a Jerry Richardson before some kind of corporate pizza story/investigation comes out talking about all the inappropriate things happening within his company. 

Fun fact, those fabric flaps at car washes are called mitters.

I sit back and contemplate that these median obstacles are there to prevent injuries, and then imagine how much more spectacular that video could have been without them in place. The guy would have been approaching Mach 1 as he reached the bottom of the chute.

Ya know, there’s a reason they put that stuff on the escalator median. If you can’t figure out what that reason is, you get what you deserve.

More like he rode the emasculator, amirite?

He’s a full kit wanker. He got what he deserved.

I assume an irate Darth Jerry gave him the ol’ Admiral Ozzel when news broke that Goodell had received his extension.

Well that escalated quickly.

Ice? there? Nah, never...

Don’t forget the ice at the wand-wash place, it’s downright dangerous in the winter.

Given to Oprah as majority owner, and let them rename the team the “Black Panthers.” It’s time to troll the ever-loving hell out of this league.