I don’t want to arugula with you, but I love a pun thread.

If its all the same to everyone else, I’ll just show up already drunk.

This confirms what I have said all along: The Dave Matthews Band is terrible.

Thank god there’s no longer Cos for alarm.

This comment has made me a bit meloncholy from my head tomatoes. It’s as if you just don’t carrot all about our feelings. Maybe you should just beet it.

Maybe that is what caused them problems the last two games.

so we should romaine vigilant?

It’s like a satirical version of the Snickers hangry commercials.

A dirty sponge murdered my twin brother.

🎶 This is my last resort. 🎶

I didn’t realize “Oh, the places you’ll go” had another literal meaning.

A deuce is a deuce

close comments, we’re done here

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

The FDA’s flatulence testing guidelines require that a consumer eats the food item and then all emissions from the point of exit on the consumer are measured for six hours, BUT(T) the FDA does not require the consumer to disrobe. It was discovered that Volkswagen had planted consumers in the testing process for it’s…

“Our currywurst has a fat content of only 20 percent. Normally, it’s around 35 percent,”

Will the rock solid integrity of airport food ever recover??

Chinese: “Your beef is tinged with madness and fury.”

yaaaa! I fondant creepy as hell

Same, TBH. Did Rhett & Link have a hand in this return?