As David Duke?

“I used to care but... things have changed”

Yeah my friends and I mourned both at a bar last night, same as we did with the celebrity deaths of 2016, which means I’m hungover and kinda dead inside.

Why is it sticky? And why is it in a shopping bag? Wait, is this, like, YOUR liver or a more just A liver that you happen to have somehow?

Pretty much anything from 30 Rock would be near the top of my list. Bitch Hunter, Queen of Jordan, or Honky Grandma Be Trippin. But my first pick would be Black Frasier.  

“stranger in the Alps”

I played one in a video game once.

It counts to my Polish ancestors, you bastard.

Dude, when I was a kid and we’d get Brinner, I’d assumed it was a super awesome treat or reward. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized it meant Mom was exhausted and it was easier than making dinner. I still consider it a treat, which is why there are always pancakes and waffles in the freezer, in case of…

Who in the actual fuck would wait an hour for a Starbucks?? That’s absolute insanity.

I bet he’ll get tossed by the salad company.

I use the Starbucks app and absolutely unapologetically skip the line. That’s, you know, the whole point of using the app.

Micro Machines!

Speaking as an old white guy, our crass grumpiness seems to give hip creds to the right sort of places. Just about every taproom has a surly old white guy hanging out somewhere. I don’t think a Darden group restaurant has much hope to develop a young, hip image, even if they just hire Brooklyn performance artists.

Damn my innate curiosity, I had to look up the procedure, then immediately regretted it. Your joke was funny but at what price man?

You think adding Blackjack will be enough of a draw?

Sneakerheads are a real big segment of business. There’s a company called StadiumGoods that is pretty much exclusively buying and reselling limited-edition footwear. These Air Jordans are 2,999 fucking dollars. To quote Kelly, let’s get ‘em.

Come at me bro

As multiple people in various places have pointed out, what makes this shitty show the perfect Trump-voter show is that it’s about a financially comfortable white-collar worker with a giant house who believes he’s a blue-collar working class guy who’s having a hard time.