I think the lighting on the passenger side of the car might be making it look extra wonky.. either that or my eyes are broken. Either option is equally possible.

You haven’t met my wife.

Portland is pretty bad. Eastern Oregon is far worse.

I dunno man, have you spent much time in Oregon? Or the ‘armpit of America’, Yakima, Washington?

Truth.

Watt?! No beach in Philadelphia?! But it’s always sunny! Watt good is the sun’s energy without a beach?!

Haha! I am not sure.. but yeah, that seems pretty absurd. I want my license plate to just be 7 hearts, because that would be totes adorbs....... ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Hahaha! I hadn’t even thought of that equally ridiculous possibility. I think they were going for ‘is loved’ but sorta missed the mark.

Oh, it is most definitely SUPPOSED to say Is Loved. But it sure doesn’t look like it..

My personal favorite:

That would be sorta weird since Rainier is based in Seattle.. but then, it is a small town in Oregon, so the idea that they named their city after a beer is not all that far fetched.

Full disclosure: I have never been much of a Mustang fan, but I actually quite like the current generation.

He also had 67 gold bars.. so there’s that..

Said Aqib Talib to Michael Crabtree,

You spelled dick wrong.

That’s the part I am failing to grasp. Also, how is having more weapons going to make other people ‘come to their senses’ about nukes. 

Nerd!

Man, the cartel isn’t about logic and answers. It’s about money, drugs, and killing people who mess up providing money and drugs.

Alright, I’ll bite...

“While police were unsuccessful in their attempts to revive the woman, they were able to renew their CPR certification for one calendar year.”