It was conflict of interest: apparently he owned several leech farms.

Double whammy: his bust was removed from the Hollywood Upstairs Medical College trophy case. Triple whammy: skin failure not a thing.

Deadspin offices on days after a Cardinals game is rained out

Under the new political climate, two red cards = deportation and replacement of the talented international player with some random yob.

Doesn’t a dumpster fire at least get rid of trash rather than act like a trash replicator?

NFL: Where did you come up with spurious medical bullshit from a shady doctor backed with piles of superfluous paperwork to guard your horrible secrets?

Congrats to Ms. Woodruff for such a juicy scoop

Black Gallagher was reached out to, but (a) had warrants (b) wanted no part of it.

I imagine the people in the first four rows will need to be tarped up just like they would at a Gallagher II concert.

Look, I’m not going to contribute to the problem by size-shaming ice shelves.

That tears it, I’m voting straight ticket Democrat now. Odd that it took the GOP this long to lose me.

Ahoy, there, Joe Sixpacks. I understand you’re looking forward to the 2020 campaign. Well, me and my corporate backers think it would be quite corking if you’d switch up to a candidate of my robust physique the way you’d switch collegiate American football allegiances.

Don’t worry, if this is sussed out and celebrity is dismantled, women’s pay will go from 77 cents on the male dollar to 78.4 cents.

Don’t worry, Kevin Kubusheskie and Moose are now globetrotting climatologists.

I hate those paleo-con family groups but if they put out a press release called “You Can’t Do That on Television” I’d slightly meta-respect them more.

The bread is stale and the circus is abusing the animals.

The third panther: the senile, glibertarian, not-unlike-the-greenhouse-guy-in-In-The-Heat-of-The-Night panther:

Ice Shelf Twice the Size of Manhattan Is About to Break Off From Antarctica http://www.ecowatch.com/ice-shelf-twic…

“Nice warm-up” — Mark Philippoussis

The strength of his bargaining position comes from the knowledge that with his Ivy League education he’ll be snatched up in an instant by other industries, to either plan some disastrous war or cause another financial collapse.