FINALLY. If it’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a president who doesn’t look like a stale cheeto.

Same here! I really connected with Louise in that episode because I do have a 12 year old’s taste in music, and I am constantly saying that the human cupcakes that are One Direction are the reason that faces were invented. The folks at Madame Tussauds said that the most difficult wax statue they’ve had to make is of…

I think we’re all forgetting the most important question in this discussion, and that is: “What about the Aztecs?” In the 16th century, the Aztecs defined the institution of guacamole as containing only avocados, sea salt and lime. Many other cultures have adopted and maintained this same basic recipe. We have already…

Is it weird that I read the title as: “Obama and President Martha Stewart Disagree about Peas”?

I whole-heartedly agree. Then, hopefully, we won’t even have to talk about this stuff, because this kind of equality is so automatic and ingrained in our society. My entire family, including any and all potential future members will be dead by then obviously, it’ll be about 1,000,000 years from now because they won’t…

Wait, the gays aren’t a terrorist group sent by ISIS to inject aids into all of us?

Sweet, sweet vindication.

Yeah, I honestly can’t believe he wrote that and decided that, not only was it a good idea, but that people would hear it and not think he’s the worst person alive. Like, Rachel Dolezal is a civil rights champion and saint compared to that shit.

Wait yeah, I was assuming this meant I could marry my 3 cats. I mean now that the gays can marry, pretty sure I can legally have a polyamorous marriage with them. They’re so much better than humans. I guess there’s a silver lining to this homosexual catastrophe after all.

Yeah, I was about to post a few quotes from his other opions and dissents that are literally comedy gold, but nothing beats this. Not even the joint opinion he wrote with Souter about 2 Live Crew’s “Pretty Woman,” attempting to describe a rap parody, saying, “distinctive sounds, interposing “scraper’ noise, overlaying…

When I signed up for religion, they specifically told me that the Ultra Supreme Court would allow religion to control everyone’s lives. Let us all bow our heads and pray to the Ultra Supreme Court. Oh holy Scalia, free us from this homosexual tyranny.

Hell no. First thing I did was literally yell it from my balcony at 6am. Then I went back online and got pissed of that they can’t just accept that they lost, bringing up ridiculous religious arguments based in nonsensical rhetoric and fairy tales. It’s frustrating because while we “won” the battle, we still haven’t…

But...what about my fictional beliefs? Don’t they give me license to control everyone’s lives? When I signed up for organized religion they told me I’d be able to control everyone. I demand a refund of the 5o cents I put in the church basket the one time I went to church when I was 5.

‘Scuze, my completely fictional beliefs give me the right to control everyone’s liberties. I’ll be filing for divorce today because my marriage is ruined now. The gays have ruined my marriage. Thanks Obama.

Fucking finally.

I agree with all of this, and would like to add that it minimizes her responsibility for the fucked up shit she’s done. It’s fucked up and demeaning to people who actually are mentally ill, while also providing an easy out for her. Such bs, all the way around. Newsflash: A lot of non-mentally ill people do fucked up,…

Sometimes I really hate capitalism [read: I always hate capitalism].

As a cat, I’m honestly surprised more humans don’t identify as cats. And because being a cat is fucking incredible (past and present; hello being deities in multiple countries), I don’t blame anyone for identifying as such. Join me. Let us nap in the sun, only waking for food and to watch the idiot humans clean our…

Am I the only one who thinks about Effie Trinket and the rest of the Capitol when I see crazy ass hats like this?! What sane person?? Why are these hats even a thing?? Is anyone actually putting these shits on their head and being like “DAYUMMMMM I look good!!”? Or is it just like “MUAHAHAHA I’m so fucking rich I can…

This. So much this. At least regarding bisexuality. Apparently, because I’m in a fully committed relationship with a man, I’m completely hetero, because if I truly was bisexual, I’d be dating a woman too? The erasure of bisexuality is a legitimate problem in both the straight and gay communities. Because, apparently,…