Agreed. I’m here because the drivel they get paid to write entertains me more than the drivel I get paid to write.

That’s nothing. Some people don’t get to play any games for 18 years after emptying their balls.

Holy shit. What non-zero percentage of those clicks are Simmons reading and re-reading each additional comment?

Do you guys have some focus group results that suggests people outside your office care as much about Bill Simmons as you all apparently do?

I don’t disagree that Simmons is a shitty writer, so the essence of the article is accurate. But effectiveness, especially in a form-over-substance specialty like sports blogging, is measured on some other scale. The fact that he started as Boston homer and didn’t turn out to be Hemingway shouldn’t necessarily be held…

Defining writers by how well they write somehow misses the point. Faulkner was, by most normal standards, also a shitty writer. However, he was one hell of a stylist, and that has made the man a legend. Simmons is also a stylist, a guy that brings a consistent and usually original voice to everything he’s ever…

I got a ten-spot that says he blows out some major joint irreparably before he gets to 700.

Funny thing about Dave (we have met, no we’re not friends or anything) is he likes juvenile humor. Poop and fart jokes mostly. I bet this groupie misinterpreted a Dave ha-ha.

If you were to score each individual person depicted in the gif of the gallery at 18 on a douchiness scale of 1 to 10, how close to Gandhi would Spieth have to be to reduce the average to below a 9.99? Discuss.

In the auction business, we call an unmet starting bid a “reserve,” which is precisely what Mr. Cutler should be.

This. And the fact that Duke's financial aid package for this welder's kid came to a total of $240 per semester. Glad they're putting the tobacco money to good use.

Would this be a bad time to mention that I got into Duke and went to UVa anyway?

I used to do my homework sitting in that showroom. Well, there or at D'Antonio's Gulf down the road. Weird that I ended up liking cars as a grownup.

Dave is a silly little man. I was at UVa when his fame took off (mid 90s), and he was always very nice when I'd run into him out and about. He's short and really loves a good poop joke.

I have a great Dave Chapelle story.

It's far better to have a Jones fracture than a Johnson fracture.