About 66 million years early.

Having dealt with insurance companies extensively I know for an absolute fact they didn’t cover any of the situations highlighted in their commercials and it makes me disproportionately angry when I see them.

I will see the Pats and their MAGA-stan/labradoodle QB knocked down a peg at any price.

Counterpoint: Fuck the Patriots.

If you could guarantee me Tom Brady gets tased once per regular season I’d watch every minute of all 16 games.

This Tour is changing my mind about cycling. It’s like if the “idiot on the field” had actual consequences and the potential for it to happen is far greater than normal sports. Good stuff.

Yea. Definitely.

That picture says, “This is what I think confident people in magazines look like, I wonder if it’s working. Do they see that my hair is thinning? This hair style definitely works now, but will it work for the rest of my life? I haven’t said anything for a while, am I doing ‘quiet confidence’ right now? I am doing…

I’d bet my life that was the 3rd edit and uppity was used at least once in the 1st or 2nd.

Who picks the old-timey picture for these?

When?

How?

Destiny 2. I’m try-harding my ass off in crucible trying to get Redrix, which I’m sure will be obsolete once Forsaken drops.

Why?

“...but Burneko has swayed me with his existential dread.”

I think Jalopnik is the only blog where you ask a simple question and it gets answered by 37 people, 36 of which didn’t check to see if someone already answered it.

Why is there a windshield wiper on the lead car?

Watch dipshit’s right knee.

That update seems awfully coincidental and he’s always struck me as awfully dumb.