Two bean and cheese burritos, a crunchy taco sub beans, and six packets of Fire Sauce, please and thank you!

Jesus christ, dude. You know most of us are just powerless people who have to deal with our circumstance, right? What’s with the vitriol? 

I swear, I could easily adapt to prison life.

I will give him 8 years.

Learn a lesson? From the past? In this economy?!

Mama taught me to do it with 1:3 vinegar and water. 

It’s a metaphor for how she’s developed empathy. 

It’s just like.... WHY were you checking for bulges? There’s a TV show going on!

I got bangs this month! While, looking back, I wish I saved the $75 for financial security, I don’t regret the cut at all. Sent a photo of Brigitte Bardot to my stylist and asked if my texture could be worked into that. She gave me long curtain bangs that make me look younger and more polished.

She flat out refused to wash her hands! 

OH MY GOD IT IS A REAL LIFE RITA SKEETER

just as bad as the rest of them, only much smarter

I didn’t get that it was about the administration in particular, but I definitely picked up on some Idiocracy-lite vibes.

I dunno. As someone separated from parents (mostly by death, not drama), I can’t see myself ever going on one of these shows because I’m not so bored with real life that I have to sign up for an exploitative reality show just to feel alive. 

Make as many as you need. Put out a dozen. Keep the rest in the fridge. Refill the tray will chilled, delicious eggs as the occasion goes on.

It’s not that I *would* buy it, but I DO buy a bottle of Whataburger Spicy Ketchup whenever I’m in Texas. 

Man what happened to them? I used to go hard on their grilled fish tacos at the Austin South Congress location. 

They Hello Kitty brand EVERYTHING from hair dryers to waffle makers. As weed becomes more and more legalized, I wouldn’t doubt they branch out to that. 

Have you tried supplementing your smoke sesh with CBD products?

Topo Chico is kind of a trendy mineral water that is ubiquitous in Austin. It’s sold everywhere and people carry around the glass bottles almost as an accessory— kind of the way some people carry around the Glossier pink bubble bags.