I’m sorry about your aunt.

You’re welcome, sestra ❤️

Oh, God. Ignore that pathetic thing. It’s just vying for attention and attempting to cut you down because it has nothing better to do. You do what you need to do to successfully get through the day. We know you have to go to school and go to work. Maybe wear red. Help someone with babysitting if you can. Run an errand…

Oh, honey. You’re neither a chicken nor a coward. There is not one single thing wrong with not wanting to subject yourself to the grisly details of the torture and death of a small child.

I think you’re cool.

Harsh. But probably accurate.

I watched her (short-lived) reality show, and I just want to be part of her family. They’re nuts. And adorable. The way they rallied around the nanny when she had cancer and the honest emotion and tears. You could tell they loved her and considered her family, not just an employee. I bawled my freaking eyes out. LOVE…

I am honestly, truly concerned for her safety. She is going full scorched earth and I love it, but, damn; these people are not to be fucked with.

I loved Remini’s reaction to that, “You are a FUCKING LIAR.” God, I laughed so hard.

Well. That will most certainly be skipping its way into my nightmares tonight. Thanks. Thanks loads.

Johnny Walker Black. Doubles. Thaaaaaaaaat should do ya.

Let’s call it what it is, people.

Anaphylactic shock is soooooo avant guarde

A week? Optimist.

That was cold, man.

I’m allergic to bees, so I visibly flinched when I read that. “You voluntarily seek out that shit? It’s POISON.”

I’m dog-sitting a pug who, hand to God, loves to watch curling. There was a tournament on TSN all last week and she was riveted.

We like to watch stuff about the weather.

Hey now. That’s unnecessarily harsh.

UNCLE BUCK