I had a few firsts this week. I was told I was “hot,” “sexy,” that I had a great body... I don’t know if everyone who has gone through life altering weight loss has trouble processing those types of comments being made to them but I’m still kind of thinking maybe he was making fun of me. He assures me he was not, but…

Blue never left... some people can pull it off, others can’t. The people who think it’s “back” are the can’ts. They’ll hop on the trend bandwagon and disregard the fact that it’s not a good look for them until something new comes along and then malign those gorgeous blue hues until they come “back” again.

I’d like to lose another 50 pounds, get me near the 175 mark (down from 440)... I’m a middle class, white chick with 14 years of civil service. What sort of crime can I commit that will get me 6 months in jail?

And I was clearly wrong. Thank you for pointing out how wrong I was. I mean that sincerely.

I’m not trying to be that person, but I’m gonna be that person...

I never thought I’d say this... but leave Taylor the fuck alone. She did a good thing. I don’t give a fuck what the motivation behind it was, she has a huge platform and she threw that behind a decent cause.

Plenty of people employ others to run their social media for them tho...

It bears mentioning that deleting your Facebook account does not delete your information, they keep it indefinitely (pictures, posts, geographical data, etc.) It’s in the terms of service when you sign up.

I can say with a degree of certainty that I’m absolutely 100% sure, in a way that I have never been about anything else in my life, that I would not trust a man - any man, not a hook up, boyfriend, potential husband material, etc. - to take a goddamn pill every day, and alternatively to be honest about taking one. I…

I would be willing to sublet one of the hallway closets in exchange for my life.

Sending good vibes your way in hopes you find something soon.

I’m so excited. I found a new place!!! It’s been fully renovated and is really gorgeous. I was hoping to not end up in an apartment again but this one is nice enough that I don’t care. It’s really affordable and dog friendly AND the closet space, it’s just everywhere: double closet in the bedroom, spacious linen…

So will protocol require she be referred to as Rachel then?

Sure. 10 minutes for skincare, at least 15 minutes to do my eye makeup and then reapply it because I fucked up the winged liner, 10 ish minutes on the rest of the face. The last 5 minutes or so is spent trying to get my lip line symmetrical since my lips are shaped differently on each side.

So two stories from this morning proved to be false. My world is shattered.

Her eye makeup is gorgeous, no complaints there. I do myself up more than that sometimes just to buy groceries... BUT her skin! It doesn’t look like real skin anymore, it looks like she’s wearing a latex sheet with highlight and contour over her face. I can almost see the layers of makeup.

That’s basically why I stopped trying the online dating thing. That and how demoralizing it was as a fat woman. It’s very rare that I meet someone that I like AND am attracted to, and given my age (mid 30s) it’s a shot in the dark whether they’re actually single.

I say this as someone who spends 40 minutes putting her face on in the morning, Katy Perry wears too much fucking makeup.

Kaley Cuoco is one of those people that *needs* to be in a relationship. I have a good friend who is like this. She just split up with her husband of 7 years (together for 10 total) in January and she’s already dating someone else. I’m baffled by it.

Ansel Elgort as Jared.