My family and I are ditching all commitments and driving toward Hopkinsville, KY. We live about 3 hours away (on a normal day) so I’m hoping if we leave early that morning, we’ll be able to get somwhere in the path of totality. We might wind up in a field somewhere, which is fine. I’m packing a picnic lunch and…

Honestly, there have been a couple of times I probably should have gone to the ER for stitches, but I prefer to just bleed profusely. I have one really nice scar on my hand from a bread knife that kinda looks like a smiley face. And last week, I pulled the classic...grabbed the handle of a pan that had just been under…

Ice cream is the only correct answer to this question.

Maybe, but isn’t satire supposed to be...funny?

Yeah...my most memorable failures have been a result of drinking too much while prepping dinner, then burning the hell out of something.

Mustard, in several varieties, mayo, ketsup, chili sauce. Those are the essentials, but I usually have lots more.

Yeah, I went to the dentist Wed. And his show was on in the waiting area. Blargh.

I’m not quite that affected, but I also fear turning my back to a room, especially when sitting. In restaurants, I always try to take the chair that faces the room. I think it’s because I startle very easily, and I don’t want anyone to walk up behind be and scare me.

I’m sorry, Mike Hunt. There is nothing you can do. Nothing at all.

You mean sharp, no-bullshit writing like this made you roll your eyes? No way!

I moved away from St. Louis five years ago, due to a job relo. I’ve missed it every day since. Yes, it has its problems, but it’s also a city with many fine public institutions and museums, great parks, theaters, restaurants...it’s a city with a soul. And it’s very affordable and a great place to raise a family.

No, they pronounce it ‘Mizzouree.’ Well, at least St. Louisans do. People from out-state pronounce it incorrectly, with an ‘ah’ ending.

Eww..you’re right. Yuck. Her hair looks fantastic though.

In my dreams, I’m a natural redhead. I’ve tried to dye my blond hair red, but it’s not easy to do and is really a commitment. Basically, I’m lazy.

I’ve lived in Louisville for 5 years and still haven’t done it. When we first moved here I tried to get into the bourbon thing, but it’s been difficult. We have a cabinet full of Woodford Reserve because everybody here gives it as a corporate holiday gift and it takes us forever to work through a bottle.

Yeah, but you Kroger has it on sale like every other week. I just stock up when the price is lower.

I’m currently working my way through a pack on those, and they are good, but nothing touches my La Croix Pineapple/Strawberry.

I recently forgot to pack underwear on a trip to Toronto. I frankly hated spending even a minute of vacation time shopping for underwear.

Yes, it does make him look terrible. I think a lot of us would hope that our president would have a bit more dignity than some salesman.

I’m sure I’ll be racked over the coals for this, but I truly don’t understand.