Sign of the impending apocalypse #62339583: This thing.

I had no idea that Lunchables, which I associate with unearthly childhood bliss on nearly the level of Dunkaroos, was also a star machine!

On Thursday, after a battle with advanced pancreatic caner, one of the most important artists of our time, Aretha Franklin, died at the age of 76. Everyone is upset about this, but Fox News actually handled it kind of poorly.

Wow, epic. Not only did a recent Delta Airlines flight from New York’s J.F.K. International Airport to Nice, France have to turn around in the sky because of a jammed toilet, we now know that Andy Cohen, a man whom Britney Spears has never heard of, was on that flight. His vacation? Inconvenienced.

Imagine putting your contact lens in at the age of 14 and not taking it out until you are 42.

The Guardian reported on Wednesday that Tereza Burki, a 47-year-old divorcee who was hoping to wrangle a moneyed man through an elite dating agency has successfully sued said dating agency for £13,100 (about $16,500) in damages.

Us Weekly reports that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, who announced their separation in June 2015 and got around to filing papers in April 2017, but are totally still married, were warned by an L.A. Superior Court judge on Wednesday that they might have to start the divorce proceedings over again if they can’t come…

Let them eat urinal cake!

On Tuesday, a New York federal judge granted a British woman’s sex-trafficking lawsuit against Harvey Weinstein permission move forward, throwing out the disgraced producer’s motion to dismiss

We are born, we quit comedy, we die. Sometimes, like if we produce a brilliant hit standup special along the way, we even write memoirs. It’s the natural life process.

Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson are reportedly dating! Or something!

Before you drift off to sleep one final treat: a dog bed that costs $1,000. No, not your bed, and not a large pillow you place on the floor. This is something else entirely.

Our story begins with an entitled conservative prince, the commentator Ben Shapiro, who like any perfectly self-assured, capitalist man imagined he could buy anyone’s time, or at least generate some good publicity.

On Thursday, MTV put in an order for a U.S. version of Just Tattoo of Us, with your hosts Nicole “Snooki” LaValle (née Polizzi) and Nico Tortorella, Deadline reports. Snooki is, of course, a star of the Jersey Shore franchise; Tortorella was in Scream 4, and currently stars in the TV series Younger. So, yes, this all…

Not all celebrities are as out of touch as our grotesque president. Some even remember how to grocery shop! And others, like, Ludacris, are on occasion out here grocery shopping for the rest of us.

Yet again, Cher has driven fans wild with anticipation for whatever she is to do next, this time by posting a taste of a new song off her forthcoming ABBA cover album, which leads me to believe this will indeed be one of the most perfect albums ever to exist.

Virginia Governor Ralph Northam and the city of Charlottesville declared a state of emergency on Wednesday, a few days ahead of the first anniversary of the violent, deadly, white supremacist Unite the Right rally, CBS reports.

The Associated Press reported on Wednesday that Brock Turner, who was convicted on charges of assaulting and attempting to rape a woman while he was a student at Stanford, has lost his bid for a new trial. In March 2016, Turner was found guilty of three felony counts related to his assault of a woman near a Kappa…

This divorce is so extra messy!

Northern California is in the midst of fighting approximately 17 large fires occurring simultaneously, and now, the New York Times reported on Tuesday, this includes the largest wildfire in the state’s recorded history. More than 14,000 firefighters have been deployed to combat the blazes that plague the state.