Yeah get your shit together, Isaac.

I think they got the shirt wrong, though.

Someone, please, send Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt to destroy him.

13. If you have scurvy, you could drink a Bud Light Lime-a-Rita and it would either kill the disease or kill you.

Or both.

What Deadspin should really do is keep a running list of the worst sports writer in every major city. As a not-illiterate person in Chicago, I’ll nominate Steve Rosenbloom and Rick Telander, who - if conjoined by magic or surgery - would create the person you would least like to sit next to in a bar.

I have nothing to base this on except my subjective tastes (which are objectively fucking great, people!), but I am genuinely enjoying Vince Vaughn in this.

Peter King is to Deadspin what Bill O’Reilly is to Jon Stewart.

My dad is a total goofball, and can be very funny and clever himself, but in an odd way, a thing I admire most about him is the way that he mostly experiences the world by being amused by it.

“IT WAS ME, FIFA!”

Sepp Blatter is my favorite evil villain of all time. You could argue that he’s resigning because the walls are closing in quickly. OR you could say that he ran for reelection, won and then quit within a week because fuck it, why not?

Sepp Blatter’s I-Don’t-Give-A-Fuck levels are off the meter. In the inevitable movie…

I legitimately doubt that even Yasiel Puig’s mother cares as much about him as Deadspin.

Someone else made a similar point, and basically I think you guys are right. His teams have brought 7 championships to the same city. The criticisms of Reinsdorf as being a cheapskate once actually did have merit; but in the last 15 years I think there are a lot of examples of his teams spending money when it was…

I mean....yeah. Fair points. Plus, it seemed to work well in Boston.

More like a punch, and I’m not even sure how hard Gar Foreman can punch. I always assumed that Del Negro absorbed the force of the blow with his hair.

I won’t argue with you about rookie minutes, or Thibs’ insistence on sticking with his veterans past the point of reason. But you also can’t deny that Butler, Mirotic, Gibson, and Snell have played really well when given a chance, and that they have gotten better each year. Or that Deng became an All Star, Butler…

Whenever I’m pulling an all nighter and I’m dragging I just play YouTube videos of Thibs screaming “STAY UP! STAY UPP!!”

You could also argue that Thibs was just really great at developing late-round talent. I guess what I’m saying is that all meaning is relative and God no longer speaks to us.

Look, Reinsdorf is terrible, as he has always been, and Gar Foreman is a crazy person who tried give Vinny Del Negro the Diamond Cutter.

You could have just stopped reading Bill Simmons, continued smoking pot, and everything in your life would have been perfect.

This is a great post, especially when seen right next to your avatar.