My new fave is the RA drug Xeljanz. I’m pretty sure there’s a hostile takeover happening on that planet right now.

And though the researchers do not “define what ‘one-half’ of a sexually satisfying encounter” is

The Queen holding two condiment bottles looking befuddled “Ketchup......Catsup.....Ketchup........Catsup....what madness is this?”

All my disco lessons come from Finland.

Nope. Religious beliefs are 100% optional and chosen. I do not have to respect anyone acting like a lunatic simply because their imaginary sky-friend told them to.

Nah, it IS easy, we just make it complicated because we start from the position that everyone’s beliefs are inherently worthy of being respected.

They aren’t. I don’t care if that makes me sound uncaring. But it’s the 21st goddamn century and this superstitious bullshit and the kowtowing we do for it has got to fucking…

The Korean nominee’s name is Sumi Jo (or Jo Sumi, but definitely not Sumi Jowas as the article currently has it).

“it’s a porn parody without the porn” was my particular favorite.

Prosecutor: “Now Mr. Pierre-Paul, is the man who tweeted your medical records in the courtroom today?”

She bragged the other day about knowing more than I think she knows about sex. And I was like oh yeah? And she said yeah I know everything. I ride a bus, mom. So I asked her about anal beads.

As a fellow teacher, I agree with you. No guns in the classroom - not in my students’ hands or mine. Mind you, I AM good under pressure and I’ve handled guns numerous times. Furthermore, I’ve survived two different incidents when an unstable teen put a gun to my head, and one where a student threatened to beat me up…

How is this putting us in an awkward position. I'm truly sorry he went through such a horrific ordeal, but he's still an idiot for pressing for this nonsense line of reasoning. Is he advocating that teachers now need to be in the position of making life or death decisions in an already high pressure situation.…

Am I the only one that has stopped using a microwave at all? I actually bought a toaster oven to handle small tasks.

The point in my life where I feel so old I have absolutely no idea who this is someone change my bedpan please.

TBH I would be disappointed if it didn’t feel like a low budget commercial for tequila mixer.

Nuh uh, a proper, homemade, oven-baked macaroni cheese belongs on a plate. 1. Because otherwise it will never cool down, 2. Because it’s fun to have sides and 3. So you can appreciate its full, cheese-topped majesty from all angles.

“up to 14 billion years”

Sun going supernova? Better keep it in one of those fireproof safes.

How many good days can a toilet possibly have?