They don't write 'em like that anymore.

TEBOW WINS CHRISTMAS:

No, but you are Tuff Enough!

"Sarah Palin can suck it. I can see Hawaii AND Alaska from my backyard."

"Yeah, what that motherfucker said."

The perfect prom dress to compliment your date's Canadian Tuxedo.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go tie a woman to some railroad tracks and twirl this thing rakishly."

Nothing like a bit of Toradol before the ol' ultra-violence, eh?

R. Kelly was gonna play the role of B. Franklin Dogg until he found out he couldn't just take a piss wherever he felt like it, even while wearing the costume.

Barnaby was pulled over on the Dana Marie Parkway just after 3 a.m. this morning while attempting to operate a Porsche Cayenne that only had three wheels.

Yeah its an even bigger download than the 600+ episodes of "COPS" I snagged a few months back.

I downloaded all 20 seasons of "Law & Order", so pretty much that for the next six months.

By the way, "Jim" from Ann Arbor, MI shamelessly ripped off Hall's quote on the NYTimes website

"What do you mean I can't bring in my horse?! The fucking team that plays here is named the Colts!"

Oh shit, how much extra for him to autograph my VHS copy of "Steel Magnolias"?

I like to think David Stern goes to high school reunions and still gets laughed at by the girls and swirlied by the jocks.

When asked to explain the poor ticket sales, Lucas Oil representatives blamed turmoil in the Middle East and tropical storms off the Gulf Coast.

Really great read, thanks for sharing Thomas. One of the many, many, many horrible things to come out of this whole scandal is the fact that people may think twice about doing any kind of charity work with children, due to a fear of being labeled a pedophile. Letting even more at-risk kids go without any sort of…