My guess (before watching...I will, I promise):

"Of course I'm waiting until I get married, mom!"

People hate pineapple on pizza with a vitriol once reserved for Nazi rallies.

I legitimately thought it was Jonbenet Ramsey.

I nominate you.

100% agreed.

I suddenly really want to watch Pee Wee's Big Adventure again.

I've only eaten at TGI Friday's twice in the last ten years. The first time, service was crazy slow. Must have taken an hour for us to get our food. The waitress was good, and apologetic, but we did complain when the manager came around asking "how is everything?" He comped pretty much the entire meal, which made the…

I'm actually not a fan of the "extremely friendly" server. I won't deduct from the tip for it, because I don't want them to be punished for my tastes, but beyond refills, answering what few questions I might have, and making sure the food comes out on a timely basis, I really don't want to interact with anyone other…

Occasionally, I read about some group of inner-city people dedicated to recreating the culinary habits of people in the 16th century, and as they go through the list of horrible, terrible things, my immediate thought is always, "That is why modern society is so wonderful. You don't have to eat those things ever again!"

I stand zero chance of winning (I can see Balut at the top), but literally the worst thing I have ever tasted, in my entire life, was the cheese spread from a mid-90s MRE. My dad was military, and he had brought home a bunch from wherever the hell he got them (I'm pretty sure he hadn't been deployed recently, so maybe…

I was just watching Drive last night, and that kiss he gives Carey Mulligan is probably one of my favorite romantic moments in any film ever. It's incredibly sad, because he knows it's both the first and the last kiss he will ever give her before she realizes that he's really an animal. You can tell how he forces…

I do strongly advocate locking Cathy Young in a jar for an undetermined period of time.

you are really defensive.

well, you do have two other comments on this article. And I haven't said more than those two sentences. Everything else is shit you're extrapolating, H-funk.

This is your third comment on this article in support of GG. Is it turning out as well as you'd hoped?

It's like trading in your otherwise genial methhead dealers for Klan member methhead dealers. At least with the first ones, you didn't have to listen to their bullshit political rants.

If anybody wants a graphic that captures just how bad Twitter is at dealing with abuse, I refer you to this monstrosity (warning: pretty much every hateful thing a person can say):

Of course Keith Ablow thinks it's wonderful. what a fucking scumbag.

It looks like one of those elaborately-constructed classics you find in the bargain section of Barnes & Noble.