No, decent people don’t cheat. To cheat on your spouse is a selfish act, it is stealing, it’s lying, it casts the innocent spouse into a very dark place. It takes away their agency. Decent people don’t do these things to others, much less those who love them.

For whatever reason, there seems to be a lot of burner activity here today.

Yep.

Hmm, it seemed to me that she was telling him that it was inappropriate for him to still be angry after eight months.

I can appreciate your thoughts on the subject - and I would say they’re valid if children aren’t involved. Otherwise, I stand by what I said. The parties involved would be well advised to limit the collateral damage by being very circumspect about who they tell. Shit can always get worse. Talk to your therapist.

No, but the cheater has done something really low. All other issues are marriage issues. Cheating is a lack of integrity and a betrayal of trust. It sets one apart from the marriage and puts the spouse and children at risk. A cheater compromises the safety of their family. That is not love or respect. It is a serious…

Even people who’ve been hurt by cheaters can learn something from her and feel compassionate for them both. And I’m glad that they’ve both shared their story here - because I think that’s very brave. But there is no denying that it takes much more effort to forgive and continue to love and TRUST a cheating partner…

Sure you can. Some people are not kind or decent to others. Some people think only of themselves. I’ve got no problem with thinking that there’s a character problem. Would I say that to a cheater’s family or friends? No, that’s none of my business. But is it wrong? Hell yes.

Really? Wow. May you never blindsided by something or someone that crushes you because I assure you that it does exist. The only control we have is how we try to put ourselves back together or if we can muster the motivation to do it.

Psychologists say you are wrong. Surprise, but men are much more likely to be emotionally attracted and attached during the affair. Women, it turns out are in it for the sex. Generally speaking.

Thank you for sharing this. There are a lot of different permutations of cheaters but I think all of them are, at the very least, narcissists. Cheating is a gut punch to the core of the innocent partner. It is not just a mistake, or just being human. It’s a major disorder of character and it is the exceptional person…

Yes, but being on both sides gives you a unique life perspective.

Which is also a really good reason for not telling friends and family that a spouse has cheated. Sharing that news with anyone other than a therapist only makes things worse.

I didn’t read that he was abusing her. Just that he was angry. One can be justifiably angry and not abusive.

I do think you’ve made valid points here and it’s important to acknowledge that you’ve made a new commitment to your marriage and family.

I feel for the both of you. I am also pretty sure that your husband just didn’t get over it and trust you after only eight months. Basically you drew a line in the sand and gave him notice that after eight months you expected him to put a lid on his feelings, because according to your timetable the event was over. In…

Well....no. Not everybody has SKELETONS. There actually are decent people that don’t hurt the ones they love.

It’s changing the time on my watches that’s difficult. The stoopid stems lock down now and there’s a different secret trick to each one.

Worst costume design EVER! Looks like the producer must hate the on-air talent.

Sorry, but who is the guy with the bird? He looks like Andy Dick.