I changed my mind. Fuck Earth.

This is going to work as well at fixing climate change as Band Aid did for starvation in Africa

Rising gorge levels are my main worry now.

Thats almost as awful as his 9/11 song and that song was worse than 9/11.

A nine-year-old wrote this song, right? That’s the only explanation for the number of cliches and lines like “a diamond in the universe.” If a 9yo wrote it, big claps. If the person was 10 or above, there’s no excuse.

I know nothing about these people and always have a 3 second reset when I have to tell myself it’s not David Foster Wallace gossip...

I am sure they could find a more fitting actress. I mean, Frida starring Salma Hayek worked so well - and she’s a beautiful and recognizable actress but she was just right for the part. These pretty, lithe and delicate women are just familiar actresses dressed like famous ladies!

Also Portman is zzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.

She looks like Jackie Kennedy if Jackie was a dead ringer for Natalie Portman. 1/5 stars would not Portman again.

I did that 6 days after my husband and I started dating when he told me he loved my long hair. JOKE IS ON YOU PAL - YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

IF HE DIDN’T WANT YOU THEN HE WON’T WANT YOU NOW BOO.

I’m partial to flopped over traffic cone.

Rotting pumpkin time-lapse

Didn’t someone do “Rancid bag of half melted circus peanuts”?

a toupee someone found in a garbage can and stapled to a sweet potato

Reporter: Tom, do you like Don Trump?

“Ambulatory merkin” is my favorite so far.

My favorite has been “Pumpkin-flavored arsenic marshmallow Donald Trump” by Kate Knibbs

rancid salmon filet

No one required you to click on the post... just you know scroll down