Well lets be honest, Top Gear IS sexist. And xenophobic. And homophobic. And the world isnt stuck in 1999 anymore.

But think of all the women who would watch the show just to see Elba. Just put a “50% no shirt” clause in his contract. And with James May aging the way he is, pretty soon no one will remember that hes not…

... and a tiptronic dual clutch überfast carbon fiber manumatic, because sorta-racecar? With launch control and magnetic ride dampening, and a heating/ vibrating french tickling topgrain leather seat with built in exhaust sound modulators in the headrest?

Vertical farming! Instead of changing the plants to withstand the conditions, change the conditions themselves. More nutritious, faster, more variety, no pests, lower carbon foot print, less wasted water, sustainable, local, better.

Lets get physical with our physical bodies in the physical universe. bow chicka wowow

Or maybe they are just happy chilling on their alien beaches, under the warm glow of their star, drinking margaritas and getting laid.

But think of all the youtube prank videos and subsequent ad-revenue that will generate!

Spiritual people who dont have to work for their living exist. Theyre called priests. And they rape children. Do you really want more child rapists in the world?

Cause and effect, my friend.

Butt herpes will lose its stigma once we all have it.

Not to mention they will still be washing those cars. Probably more often than they do now.

How much did that Maglev cost the Chinese taxpayers to build? How long before it turns a profit?
Theres no way a private company will build a Maglev train in the USA. Ever. It will have to be built with taxpayer money (like the highway system) and then eventually transfered to private control later. And even if that…

Im sure theres a tea-party argument about food-stamps and obamaphone in there somewhere....

Anything that doesnt involve driving. I can think of at least 3: sex analyst, beef jerkey-er, face painter.

Plus, with cars going super defensive driving, no traffic, fewer cops, cheaper gas (if all these cars go electric), and no worry about parking, it will be super fun to bomb around town like a motherfucker!

And a whiff of bile every time you step in the car.

Some bitch in my neighborhood keeps bringing her shaggy dog in the Zipcars (which is against policy). My friend started to choke and wheeze halfway to our destination because hes allergic to dogs, and we found the hair EVERYWHERE. We made a complaint, but they said they didnt know how long the hair was there, so they…

Washing machines automated a mundane task that women everywhere dreaded. But did that mean women were now less occupied than before? No, all of the sudden they had more time to... sweep... cook... clean... do dishes... take the kids to school... etc etc. And they had to be back in time to put wet clothes in the dryer…

Total gas subsidies in USA for 2015: 4.7 billion dollars.

My buddy has a thumper, and said that when he first got the bike, and the first time he started it, it blasted back on his foot so fast that he got KO’ed by his own knee. Woke up bleeding next to the bike laying on its side.

Between the non-synchro gearboxes, lack of ABS and TC, drum brakes, and crappy safety measures, that measurable skill must have been no laughing matter.

My friends sister got a polestar one for a steal, because the dealership didnt know what to do with it. No one wanted it. But its so cool! If only it was AWD...