With your permission? It’s your chest, is it? Not hers?

I’m pretty sure Hammond would have said ‘And then I shat my pants’. We don’t say ‘shit’ when using the past tense. And by pants, he would have meant undercrackers. Grundies.

Get your shit together, America.

Not to mention fake tits and blindingly white, perfect teeth. Plus make-up in times when only harlots wore slap.

Ask James May whether he’s tried a Higgidy pie (Beef, Stilton and Sussex ale variety) from the Co-op in Tisbury. I gather he’s in search of the perfect pie. Not exactly car-related, apart from he got his Ferarri pranged by a pensioner in the High Street there a little while ago ....

And the Paralympics - 2nd to China. Where were you again, USA?

Hollywood is the one dispensable part of the series. Mary Berry is a goddess,a dn Mel and Sua add humour and girl-mateyness / shoulders to cry on. Hollywood is nothing on his own: not funny, not sparky. Plus I haven’t forgiven him for shafting his wife when he went to the US and shafted his co-presenter ....

Kelly, it’s gone to Channel 4. As Channel 4 also has a public service remit (funded by the govt and by advertising) and has to produce unique, original programming, how it can justify poaching an already established series, spending lots of public ££££ in the progress, is up for debate.

Nah. ‘I would bust that spasm chasm’. Because we all love a bit of perv poetry.

What? The BBC coverage was superb. Just a shame about it going out in the middle of the night our time, but it was so good. And no ad breaks. And no Matt Lauer, thank god.

Which is weird, because Wesley isn’t an English first name - well, hardly ever. It’s much, much more an American one. English surname, sure, but not first name.

Anyone remember this oldie but goodie?

Blame Stella McCartney.

Second in the medals table! And if you split it up by medals per head of population the UK did waaaaay waaaay waaay better than the US in the Olympics.

No. Wrong. There is more than one boxing gold medal for women.

Here’s a great BBC video roundup of all her performances, with two Australian commentators: