I was eight years old when Titanic the movie came out. I saw it twice in theaters and, for reasons lost to history, purchased two copies of the two-tape VHS release, dreaming of the day when I too could threaten to throw myself off a boat and end up dancing a sexy jig in steerage with a bad boy artist. It was truly a…
I am a big magazine boy with many important things to say about the Samsung Galaxy S7 smartphone, but the most important thing you should know about me is this: I have done Bad Things.
This morning, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something moving on my couch. But this was no ordinary New York City bug-in-the-apartment nightmare. It was a baby lizard, sitting next to me, enjoying the soft cushion of the couch I spent two months debating whether or not to buy, and frankly, I’m not sure what to…
“About ten years ago I had a crush on a woman at Fox News. She was a low level staffer. I was in college at the time. So I was going out on what I thought were dates. Chris, I thought these were dates. These were not dates. She was actually reporting back to Fox News about me. She was reporting back about what I…
Donald Trump has a big, bouncing beautiful set of economic plans—just see for yourself.
Multiple outlets are reporting that former CIA agent and conservative strategist Evan McMullin is launching an independent presidential bid in the hopes of siphoning votes from the Trump campaign.
Today, Donald Trump released a list of the members of his economic advisory council. All of them are white, half of them are named some version of Steve, they mostly all have backgrounds in real estate and business, and none of them are women. “I am pleased that we have such a formidable group of experienced and…
“She didn’t separate any of the clothes and just threw all of the laundry together... I was so upset because in the wash there were gifts people had given me, baby blankets, towels, and they were all dyed blue,” TV producer Amy Pack testified this week in the criminal trial of her maid, Jasmin Figueroa.
Donald Trump’s rapid descent into madness this week has apparently alarmed his senior aides so much that they’re reportedly planning an intervention to beg Trump to be a different person, at least until the election is over.
A group of former Donald Trump aides have reportedly flocked to Wisconsin with the sole goal of overthrowing Paul Ryan, the current House Speaker who made the mistake of halfheartedly endorsing Trump earlier this summer.
The play “Cats” returned to Broadway this week, which is all fine and good, but let’s talking about opening night, the Page Six description of which sounds like the kind of fever dream Mario Lopez might have if he took three Valium with a bottle of Kombucha and fell asleep in the sun.
Donald Trump today refused to support Paul Ryan or John McCain in their respective primaries, despite the fact that both men endorsed him for president, saying that despite their support, he’s not sure that they should be elected again.
A “school-aged child” who appeared younger than ten reportedly interrupted a Donald Trump rally today to yell, “Take that bitch down,” in apparent reference to Hillary Clinton. Unlike the baby who interrupted Trump earlier in the day with an expletive-free scream, the garbage child was apparently permitted to stay at…
According to the newest AP report on the horrors of Rio, things have gotten so bad that just looking at its toilet ocean is about enough to potentially kill you.
After a fire marshal mysteriously enforced occupancy rules at a Donald Trump rally Monday, Trump held a press conference to mock the man for keeping people alive in a move that’s sure to reassure all the people living in or around Trump’s many properties.
PHILADELPHIA — On the third night of the Democratic National Convention, the parties were empty. The ones I was invited to, anyway.
On Thursday, Hillary Clinton formally accepted the Democratic party’s nomination for president, making her the first woman ever to be nominated. Here’s the full text of her historic speech:
On Thursday night, Hillary Clinton took the stage at the Democratic National Convention to become the first woman ever to be nominated for president by a major party. Standing before a crowd of thousands of supporters, Clinton accepted, saying, “When there are no ceilings, the sky’s the limit.”
During her historic acceptance speech Thursday night, Hillary Clinton thanked Bernie Sanders. As the cameras cut to him, Bernie visibly reacted, which is to say I can tell he’s not dead because he’s clearly blinking. Never change Bernie!
Turns out politicians are just like us—they were once young and attractive, with their whole lives ahead of them, and now they’re not. Join us on a truly incredible DNC-themed look back at once was, what could have been, and which former cutie you should call “dad” this week on Twitter (it’s Tim Kaine).
