I have a couple of different options I could recommend:

My mom hijacked my wedding. I didn't even really want to have one, but she would have been so disappointed if we eloped and as a result I conceded.

I am having my wedding on another continent very soon- we are at each other's throats. Wedding planning + travel planning is not the best recipe for mother/daughter harmony. Pray for me too!!!

Yes! This is exactly what I thought of, because his argument is spot on. Either you're speaking out against it or you're complicit. If you are one of the ones speaking up then obviously this isn't about you. Be an ally in words and actions and you will assuredly be seen as such. Then you'll never have to worry about…

This reminds me of how sick Dan Savage got of hearing defensive Christians say "we're not all like that!" in response to every story about fundamentalist homophobia, as though Christians were the real victims here. His argument was that as long as they didn't actively speak out against those elements in their…

I think you hit on a significant issue about some of the reactions—a lot of folks didn't know if this was some random dude or not. But in the context of being a family friend, some of the weirdness disappears for me. My sister is 10 years older than me and she had male and female friends that I was close to when I…

More or less ridiculous than pompously explaining the flaws in an entirely facetious suggestion?

My friend and I were discussing that this morning; our first thought was "thank God the kid didn't have a gun."

I think you're all missing the bigger picture here. It's probable that all of that creativity wasn't his, but was one of the mice sitting under his hat the whole time.

Evidence.

Ditching the "Dawson necklace" has certainly helped as well.

I was always pro-Pacey and never found The Beek attractive. But hot damnsicles, like a fine wine, he has aged well.

JESUS, OBVIOUSLY.

Fuckin' bananas! How do they work?!

Oh man, any excuse to post the infamous Kirk Cameron banana video:

Handy tip:

"They sound the same when they're live!"

However, I really wish that Jezebel would stop with the sensationalist headlines and publish more than one type of cop story. These types of headlines (it happened again: everyone be afraid of police now) continue the cycle of fear and hatred of police officers everywhere and it makes their jobs that much harder.

But...by definition, police are supposed to protect and serve. What you call "good cop" stories are SUPPOSED to be the norm, because that is a police officer's goddamn job. Jezebel reports on stories like this because they're NEWS. A police officer that does something heartwarming beyond the call of her/his job is…