“Look, I know you’re going to be disappointed when I tell you what the final HP is, so let me first go over how wizard the infotainment system is!”

nice

Anyone else surprised climate control isn’t set at 69 degrees?

Because then the same players would be paired up against each other week after week. They place the 1 and 2 on opposite sides, then randomly draw 3 and 4, 5-8, 9-16, and if it’s a slam, 17-32. All other placements are randomized.

Tennispin is very good.

“I get knocked down, but I get up again.”

Some Christians do. Not all.

I just realized his Twitter handle is @DaddyOfAPro.

When players of high character shoot, it’s to miss, so that they might give their teammates a chance at an offensive rebound.

Yeah but some commenter on earlier thread told me he scowls and shoots to score points. Dat ain’t no MVP.

Don’t worry — Deadspin loves asshole parents as long as they agree with Deadspin:

Great stat. Didn’t need one to convince me he was MVP but damn...

Let’s not forget Chukwudi Okafor threatening to slap a random blogger for having the AUDACITY to think Jahlil is the colossal bust he turned out to be.

History books will one day cite this as the deathknell of market-based capitalism:

3-1

Only if leads to that team beating the warriors otherwise team dick kick will say something about how it motivated them and pushed them to victory.

So what are the chances that at least one Warriors playoff opponent now tries this?

Enjoying the Knicks in their “purest form” is like a bad strain of heroin; no one wants it, even if they think they do.

At some point, you have to [air horn] distractions to [booming PA announcer hype man voice] and [Jock Jams cut] and [instructions to make some noise] kick in the nuts.

“Listen, either you play my music, or we’re playing nothing at all!” - James Dolan.