Thank you, Captain Pendantic.

Team Pinniped approves this message. We don't fuck with human infants, please don't fuck with ours.

You know, after Bowie, Prince, Rickman, R2-D2 and Wilder, I for one am glad that Death decided to get his head on straight for one day this year. . .

Always appropriate:

Calling schlafly an asshole is insulting a very hard-working and underappreciated part of our anatomy.

Further proof that assholes live forever. She was a boil on the ass of America and she lived to prove it until she was 92 fucking years old. Ding dong, the witch is dead. tramp the dirt down on that grave, spit and never look back.

As a dear friend said on twitter:

You can float a lead ballon, you just need Adam Savage’s folding know how.

I look forward to the escalation of conflicts which will undoubtedly lead to hordes of middle-class burners forcing the techbros into a Wickerman and setting it alight at the conclusion of ceremonies.

You worked for a fairy-tale goblin?

Would that be the quick decisive action of calling the cops of the three quick strokes he gave it while cybersexing?

Did you see what we were wearing?

“She doesn’t know why I’m bringing up sexual assault and rape; this is why. We go into real wars with real anti-American, anti-women, enemies, thank you, who use rape and torture and who will use rape and torture of women to try to win the war.”

Laughing at Chris Brown’s lame ass?

That’s not a hike, thats a schlep.

called herself “the most hated person in the world.”

Actually, Trump might be a good example for you to use. You could have them analyze his statements to try to put them in a coherent form and they’d also see what an idiot he is when they realize he’s saying nothing. I assume some of them are of voting age so.. might help.

You lucky person, you. Best hop in the canoe and paddle back to safer waters.

“I had a great meeting with great people, great Hispanic leaders, and there could certainly be a softening because we’re not looking to hurt people. We want people — we have some great people in this country. We have some great, great people in this country but we’re going to follow the laws of this country and what…