My 16-year-old sister looks a little bit older so she occasionally gets hit on by boys in their early 20s. At one point, this one sorry fellow tried to convince her that “age is just a number,” to which she quickly retorted, “a prison cell is just a room.”

How about eating noises? Soup slurping? They make me want to die.

Like most people, I was an gangly teen- all pimples and limbs and braces. I had a huge, super nerd-girl crush on someone I’ll call Joe. Joe was a year older than me even though he was in the same grade, and had bit puberty sooner as a consequence, so was more man-than-boy shaped. Ravelston likied.

One look at time on…

Before heading to an informal eighth grade dance, my friend and I went to a local coffee shop to hang out beforehand. When the shop closed, we stood outside and waited for my older brother to pick us up. It was the dead of winter so we stood on top of a heated grate on the sidewalk next to an Italian restaurant. My…

About seven years ago I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was lucky in that it was fairly isolated so they just chopped that sucker out, but I was devastated by the treatments. Just.. so so sick. An old friend of mine (we'd shared a really shitty apt in NYC in my early 20s and during this time she and I had had a…

I've told this story before here. But.

When she showed up at our apartment with a toddler. Cute little bugger- looked just like my at the time husband.

I was seeing one of my longtime best guy friends (whom I'd kissed a couple times over the course of our friendship, but had just started, like, being with in any more significant capacity). He told me that he loved me quickly. The whole thing was very intense. I'd been hearing rumors from mutual friends that he was…

We had been dating for 9 months. I told him I couldn't go to his birthday party, when I was actually planning a big surprise for him. So I showed up with my awesome gift, to find him there with his other girlfriend :(

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

I love living alone so much. It is the best.

I don't know why I'm compelled to share this, but I am in the greys anyways, so who cares....

OH MY GOD.

This is not a quality wig. Mellie's wig looked especially bad to me recently too. What is going on with Scandal's wig department. They need some guidance from The Americans.

I was hanging out with my friend at a local bar when a girl day beside me. I had just gotten out of a long and boring relationship, so I was looking to screw around. I got her attention through some non-memorable way. When the conversation got around to the inevitable "so, what do you do for a living," I paused and…

I'm in the grays so this will probably never be seen, but we were quite drunk, and I suggested we leave the bar and go to McDonald's. I proceeded to order, not kidding, seven value meals all with fries and then a 20 count nuggets... I then asked him if he wanted anything. The food comes, and the bags break under the…

This is only tangentially related, but some guy at a house show asked me: "how many calories do you think you burn during sex." He wasn't trying to pick me up, he just thought he was cool by mentioning sex in a frank way. I said "none because I just lay there" and walked off. For sone reason thinking of that exchange…

You know, if a person wants to tip you two bucks on a 200-buck bill, that's his or her prerogative. Tip isn't mandatory, and if I would have a waiter come up to me and confront me with the size of my tip, I'd ask him to give me the two dollars back. It's a courtesy, not an obligation.

FYI, I'm Dutch and tip well above…

Yeah, but Dr. Moreau had an island, too.