He seems insanely annoying, like being with him for an extended period of time would be exhausting.

Just name the new ones “Drunk RedacTED Talks”

That show introduced me to Michaela Watkins and for that I am grateful.

The closest I ever came was a Rottweiler that was so happy at being petted that he stuck his paw down my shirt. I disentangled him with a now now, we’ve barely been introduced! Which was funny because it was a LITERAL DOG. Not a human who is allowed outside unsupervised on a daily basis.

Maybe she just tripped and her shirt flounced in such a way it allowed for his hand to perfectly slide in? She should consider herself fortunate he was there with his hands waiting in the McSqueezy position!

You should get to know a Trump voter. They could ‘splain.

THIS. If I have to worry about a student bringing a gun into my classroom, then they sure as fuck should have the same concerns. Welcome to the world you’ve forced the rest of us to live in, fuckwads.

I have been on food stamps and welfare and nobody helped me out.

The Katy Perry comment doesn’t make her look like kind of an asshole, it makes her look like a completely ignorant, bullying asshole.

Jared Kushner looks like the perfect, caring fiancé in a L&O SVU episode who is later revealed to have been kidnapping all those brunettes and dressing them up in his late mother’s clothes.

Good to see he’s moving on from Heidi Klum

Trump is a reptilian wearing a man-suit.

I’m half expecting some “they’re in on it together as part of the same conspiracy!” bullshit.

This is some Trumpian-level bullshit right here. By which I mean it’s self-serving, asinine, and not remotely credible.

AND I call bullshit on her “my sexuality is up for grabs” pandering. I feel like she’s a college sophomore contemplating making out with her female friend at a bar to get the guys riled up. She thinks it says something about her that she dated a man who identified as gay. Big woop. I am highly doubtful that she likes…

I saw her clapback at someone who was pissed at her for being vocal against Trump. The woman said something to effect that she was going to throw her HP books away or burn them, and JKR was like, “ that’s fine. I already got your money. Byeeeeee!”

Like Seth Myers observed: The Presidency is supposed to age the President, not the rest of us.

Fuck yeah! American Heroes All!

Okay but can we keep some of the Revolutionary War era cosplay? That way we can attract the Hamilton stans and also I personally like tricorn hats.

Every damn day he does something to remind me of Yeats’ The Second Coming: