My daughter was your daughter in the middle-school years, and I’m thankful every day that smart phones weren’t a thing yet. The worst that ever happened were three-way calls where the mean girl got your crush on the phone and then added you to the call so you could hear him say he didn’t like you like you. I feel for…

Aw man. Now you’ve given him even more ideas.

This week, Taylor Swift and her English boyfriend who may or may not dream of electric sheep,

Thanks for the clarification. “Distinctive Assets”? Oy.

How is the Gift Bags to Rich People thing justifiable? Do celebrities actually keep the stuff? I know not everyone who attends the Oscars is super wealthy, but if you want a Patek Phillipe or whatever, haven’t you already bought one? And if you need rent money for next month, isn’t that Patek Phillipe going on Ebay…

A friend’s closet-case ex-husband is overly aggressive with women. It’s like he’s trying to prove to himself that he’s not gay. It really seems less about public image and more about individual psychology.

I think “worse than Folgers” is against the law in several states.

Right. Maxwell House is grandma coffee, and Folgers is office coffee unless you work at a start-up.

They’re already here.

I literally spent half an hour yesterday thinking, “I have no looming deadlines, my clients are happy, everyone is healthy, my wife/kid/dog are amazing. Why can’t I relax my shoulders and why am I vaguely nauseous?”

Then I realized the news was on . . .

45's base would never accept a Jewish president, so Arabella’s out. And the Tic Tacs definitely couldn’t be fruity. Only the white ones are qualified.

It’s a bit as though Guy Fieri crashed a stock car and they melded into a single terrifying entity.

There’s a Pizzeria UNO in Seoul. Not great, but it’s a hell of a lot closer to you than Chicago.

If you are old like I am, you might remember Normal Klein’s books. They were even more unapologetic about sex than Judy Blume.

I had a guy try to return a circa 1962 paperback of Crime and Punishment. I started making up plot points to see whether he’d read it. Did you know that Raskolnikov traveled to the US and met Abraham Lincoln? Well, there’s a guy who’s believed that since 1996 because I told him so.

Yes, and ex-wives always band together to make up lies about the man they were married to.

I also remember Richard J.

Thank you! Wife is an attorney here in Rahmland and swear some of the judges are based on real Cook County characters. We watched most of The Good Wife until it got a bit too soapy. This sounds amazing.

Had it six times (yep) before I started weaning my kid. 104 degree fever, intense breast pain. Fun times!

This thread is really amazing. I would add that when you are young, and you know that on some level, what you are experiencing is, if not wrong exactly, definitely not sanctioned by the powers that be. You end up (okay, I ended up) doing a kind of mental math: I let it happen to me so it wouldn’t happen to my sister;…