You’re either too stupid or disingenuous to make this connection.

My plan exactly.

Have you ever tried to take a girl for a night out on a bike?

Effing A, where are you looking for dates??

Thanks for the heads up, but I’m been fully aware of why I’m not having sex and that’s none of it.

Sayoc is a registered Republican with a criminal history dating back more than 25 years, including having been previously accused of making bomb threats.

Don’t you doubt they actually do.

Well, having a job is also optional, so I guess they’re not exactly lying about it...

I feel your pain.

Hey, there’s always born-again vegans... Just try and have a meal with those suckers!

I personally like to dress up as Pluto, but I’ve been told wearing a Snoopy costume also fits me well.

I personally like to dress up as Pluto, but I’ve been told wearing a Snoopy costume also fits me well.

The one that stays the farthest away from me.

The one that stays the farthest away from me.

Well, that kind of concludes the evaluation, right?

So... now you’ll be able to buy toilet paper and kitty litter while driving.

(Very) Fun fact: I’ve watched porn of a woman going by the alias of Siri.

You are aware that pretty much anywhere the age of consent is not 18, right?

which she won’t

I know they were in France and all, but... even the children?!

They should instate low-flying helicopters as random hazards in bike races. Heck, even foot races would benefit from having a tornado-inducing flying machine throwing contestants off balance and kicking up dirt in everyone’s eyes!