Back... and chop with the left.  Back... and chop with the left.

My 2yo toddler Porky Pigging-it through the Marriott lobby with crap streaming down his legs?

Horse is too classy for that matchup. If the Jets-Bills game was a horrible drug-related behavior, its a couple dudes huffing paint back by the dumpsters. Nah, that’s still too classy. Maybe a strung-out Russian Army vet shooting up Krokodil in the basement of a burned out house in Siberia? A Florida Man snorting bath…

According to Colin Campbell Brendan Shanahan’s NHL Wheel of Justice

The 90's Nuggets game plan was a full court layup drill. Their best player was Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf (Chris Jackson of LSU-fame). They were coached by Paul Westhead, who had coached Bo Kimble and Hank Gathers at Loyola Marymount, which had lost in OT to Jackson and Shaqs’ LSU in Feb ‘90 148-141. Go figure, Paul Westhead…

And here I thought this was about dogs with their hind parts in trailers.  Carry on.

I just want to see the footage of Fitz being summoned to the field: Called from the bench, he stops chatting up a cheerleader, stubs out his cigarette and finishes his beer. Sauntering over to the huddle, he hands the ref his empty, calls the play, and looks back over to the cheerleader and winks. Under center, he…

““U know how to find me.” Lebron realizing his shirts just aren’t getting enough starch out in LA.

And here I thought they might be in the hunt to match the Paul Westhead Nuggets of 90-91 (PTS/G: 119.9 (1st of 27) Opp PTS/G: 130.8 (27th of 27)), but that’ll only happen if Korver and Co play even less defense than they are now, which boggles the mind. At least the nuggets won 20 games that season.

When I was a kid, I caught a football on the end of my thumb which dislocated it right out of the socket. The tendons and whatnot attached to it pulled it down into my wrist, where it stuck out like the letter Z for the 90 minute drive to the hospital. It didn’t hurt so much after a bit of shock set in. A gigantic…

For maximum right-wing trolling, Earl Thomas will start not just kneeling during the anthem, but shooting dice while doing so, leering at all the white women, and then just hang out on the sideline drinking an Oly and smoking a Newport while the offense is out on the field.

In vino veritas

A three egg omelet is about my max, but I’m glad that someone is out there to do the things I’ll never do, like base jump and eat four dozen eggs.

And they mailed that critter straight to Jim Tomsula, who will not only get a filling and possibly nutritious meal or two out of it, but also a new cover for his banjo.

Cairo Santos?!?!? The guy is running around with an after-market groin.

If he had pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and blew smoke all over the microphone, I would have not been the slightest bit surprised.

This guy Cruikshank play in the East-West College Bowl?

The state senator who looks like he invented tweed

All that brain capacity normal guys use for porn, he uses for football.

He’s just sucking up to Mark Davis, who’s been trying to look like Davey Jones since 1968. His stylist just sticks a bowl on his head and gets busy with the clippers just like mom used to do. He probably pays $200 for a haircut he used to get for free. Unless his mom still cuts his hair. The dude looks like he makes…