I still have to come up with one for pizzagate. Maybe “You know that’s just a cover story for human sacrifice rituals, don’t you?”

I will admit...I’m one of those trolls. But only to conspiracy theorists: I troll them with competing but equally ridiculous theories.

Since I do not know their intentions, I contacted my two Senators (women) with this letter:

Maybe they should blame Congress for the lack of hope & change, as they see it.

I’m just curious. When exactly is the point at which DJT has had his “chance” and we can begin criticizing? Is it after his inauguration? After he signs some shitty legislation? When he starts a war with China? When someone actually dies due to a decision he has made as POTUS? Please, let me know when exactly I am…

Trick question. It’s not food, it’s medical waste.

Worst part... Rudy’s password is nineeleven.

It’s selfishness, a lack of respect for human life, unrestrained consumption, and religion.

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

White women who want to broadcast their politics (in addition to actually taking action, ahem) could also just wear a t-shirt from Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, Amnesty, SPLC, CAIR, BLM, NOW, NPR, DNC ... the possibilities are endless. Just anything at all besides almost literally #notallwhitewomen.

This is a case of God getting drunk and saying “Wolf+fox+horse, let’s do it!” And it turned out amazing, unlike the other weird combo animals like the aye aye and the yeti crab.

I made this the other night because fuck this guy

WHY WOULD SENSUALITY EVER BE USED TO DESCRIBE A PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION THAT’S NOT A THING EVEN WHEN WE AREN’T SWEARING IN THE GROSSEST MAN ALIVE.

It’s called The Raid, and it’s phenomenal.

I you pretend Prison Break is only two seasons long, you’re going to have a pretty solid show.

When did 1976 become “several centuries ago”? Did I magically get transported into some distant star-date in the future? If so, please let it be one of the years when Riker was still super-cute.

Twitter user Adrienne Marie had the final word on this:

Donald invited her because just like him and Jackie Evancho, Rebecca came second in the popular vote.

“struck one of the most famous nightclubs where the Christians celebrate their apostate holiday.”