HE HAD A JOB???

“Yes, uh, I don’t choose to hang out with women, that’s my, uh, choice, because otherwise they’ll get too horn’d up”

omfg lmao

congratulations to Sonja for being cast in a role that is not “tough as nails lady cop who is trying to make it in a mans world”

in consecutive years, the Bears traded away a Tight End and cut a tight end. Hopefully this move works out better.

oh my goodness

I always wondered how that works, but it is not a question us mortals can comprehend

Half of Greek Mythology is literally “Zeus was horny, so he turned into like, a goat, then banged some lady and had a child”

Andy Reid, as always:

Right, just fucking try to not pay a federal contractor, I dare you. See what happens!

it’s sort of telling what kind of “negotiating” Trump has been doing in recent years.

Bear downed

As far as stat-padding gimmicks go, this has nothing on Ricky Davis’ incredible attempt to get a triple double

lol

i just imagined a world where Emma Thompson said yes and my entire existence is shaken to its core

But perhaps due to adamantium poisoning, with his healing factor diminished, he could, for the first time in his life, experience life as a circumcised man.

reading this you can also map out Trump’s speech patterns

He can’t be worse than Paul Konerko in his last season, I guess?