Thank you for writing this.
Barf. What frat were you in at Iowa, Eric?
As a Bears fan, I’ll have to disagree. Yes, Bears fans are reactionary shitheads who irrationally hated a player in Jay Cutler (although, in retrospect, he was the most unpopular player in the NFL based upon a player survey), and the Bears’ fan base includes a shit-ton of MAGA assholes from Iowa or Wheaton or South…
This one will always be my favorite. “Dog balls,” indeed: https://www.theonion.com/fourth-graders-button-making-machine-privileges-suspend-1819566194
I was at the Bartman game, and sat on the other side of Wrigley. We didn’t realize what happened until the trash started flying, and we didn’t realize how big it had gotten until we turned on the radio in when we got back to the car afterwards.
In addition, Joe Neguse (the Democratic nominee winner in the Boulder/Broomfield race) stands ready to be Colorado’s first African-American Congressman (so pitiful, Colorado). That was good, too!
Hood. (Both “The Hood” and “Hood” as a an object of a sentence).
Transient? I am surprised by this. I thought it meant scheming white kids who wander around San Francisco/Portland/Denver who ask for a hand-out but don’t need one. Like these guys:
I’ve gotta disagree with you here, Joe. Buttermilk is hard to beat. Athletic, charismatic, and a bit mischievous. Buttermilk is clearly the GOAT of goats.
Pictured: the NFL investigator tasked with making the recommendation.
You buried the lede. The Cardinals lost, which the rest of America believes is worth far more than any problems derived from the Phanatic’s actions.
I love that they make these shirts. So exciting.
Counterpoint: I saw a d-bag on one of those single wheel electric skateboard dealies going about 10 mph on sidewalk while loudly listening to terrible music on a fucking bluetooth speaker absolutely eat shit into a light post. No one helped him up, either. It made it all worth while.
Clint Hurdle was bad in Colorado and is bad in Pittsburgh. That is all.
“Lot’s.” Jesus, man. NEVER USE AN APOSTROPHE TO MAKE A NOUN PLURAL. I hope your management consulting doesn’t involve basic grammar.
Never underestimate the little guy:
Oh, heck yes! I live in Denver, and there was a baby at the end of last year named Forest. I love him, too!
Okapis, the weird grazing animal with stripey legs. Did you know Okapis are more related to giraffes than zebras, even though they have stripes!?!