/begin rant

I think they took Homer Simpson’s advice: “Whenever Chloe Kim’s not onscreen, all the announcers should be asking “Where’s Chloe Kim”?

“Soldier Fields.” That is new one. Usually it is mispronounced/spelled “Soldiers Field.” Does Mike Trubinsky play quarterback there?

Same. Facebook is sharing my pictures of that day (the NFCCG) when I went to the game exactly 7 years ago today. What a fun algorithm!

[breathes on knuckles]

Someone has never seen “Children of the Corn” apparently.

Err... 2013. God, they suck.

How about a heartbreaker that is the result of one massively blown play? A “blowbreaker”?

Ultimately, they had the same reaction we all did. Well done!

Pictured: Aly’s parents listing to the statement.

What I always remember is, unlike with those two, with Basketball (sic) I was permitted (tragically) to grow up a Knicks fan because, even after he left, my father never forgave Boston for the vicious racism directed at Bill Russell . . .

Sorry your dad left, but how is that relevant to your story?

Imagine how good he will be when all of his permanent teeth come in!

“God damn it.” - Todd Haley’s landlord

You monster.

No kidding. This like when [insert tangentially-related (at best) Beverly Hills 90210 plot line].

Sadly, it is not. Corniest of the corniest movies.

I . . . I had no idea that Charlotte was on the North Carolina/South Carolina state line. I am ashamed of my geographical knowledge at age 41.

I would take Coors in the cheap beer selection game. Smokey and The Bandit and Sam Elliot for the win!