Know what's funny? People who write things on the Internet, telling other people who write things on the Internet to check their privilege. Even funnier is watching them compare their levels of privilege. Now, there's a calculator to help them do it!
Okay, time to say goodbye. I'm moving eight blocks up the street. This has been absurd. I'm starting at the Village Voice tomorrow. This is embarassing. TLDR warning. Whatever. Here we go:
President Barack Obama's first periodic physical exam—in which the Chief White House Physician examines him at Bethesda Medical Center to serve up "a candid assessment of the President's ability to carry out his duties"—is complete. The results?
Hey man, as long as you don't run into his neighbor. Then again, nah. I think he's already taking a lien over the marbles out of my paycheck. GET OVER HERE, ANDREW. Update! Young Manhattanite is here. With video!
Also, chicks think being "dark" is "hot," or something. Truth is it just means I don't want to fucking talk to you and I'd rather just go home and listen to The National and WRITE and BE BRILLIANT and SUCCESSFUL.
I
like
love NYT film critic Manohla "#RealTalk" Dargis' work. Which is why it hurts to (predictably) point out how cringeworthy it is that even the Times still uses The Big Lebowski as the headline-worthy reference point for Jeff Bridges.
And here I was going to end that headline with "...God Annoyed," but Jersey Shore is a gifts upon this universe. Admit it, you're glad nothing happened to them last night. The world is filled with enough awfulness as is.
Sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson's big orgy debut angers his non-sparkly girlfriend! Lindsay Lohan is out on the town, partying again. A-Rod dumped his new girlfriend. The Bachelor people got married! Oprah has secrets. Presenting my final Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:
I'm bringing back Saturday Night Special one more time. Here's tonight's open thread: I'll be out and about in the comments. J-Lo's on SNL, or something! But first, I need to give some Google Alerts their due diligence.
#NotAfraidToBeCervixey, indeed. First came The Article. Now, here's The Footage. I'm not sure who this woman is, but she might be on the brink of stardom. Because she got her Vagina Vajazzled. For science. Or something. Via Buzzfeed, there's this.
If you wrote a piece for the Huffington Post entitled Do You Really Need an Editor at a Publishing House?, you'd make a strong case, right? The answer, as evidenced by Knopf editor Carole Baron, is a resounding absolutely.
