Ultimately, there were two now ex-staffers, who shall remain nameless,

My mom once tried to feed me a pizza with a crust made of fucking Cauliflower. So I know “When it’s bad, it’s still good?” is bullshit.

“What’s that old saying about sex being like pizza? Even when it’s bad, it’s still good?”

For some men hitting fifty means their metabolism slows to practically nothing and they put on weight just by existing. The upside is if they lift weights they can put on muscle mass more easily than before

i already offended now! article:

Ladies and gentlemen, your Predisent.

Further proof that Wikipedia is not a reliable source:

Thank Uwe; come again

:(

oh, nice, what, because they’re both from Nar Shaddaa,

Considering Disney owns both Star Wars and ABC, i’d bet that all the Wookiee reality shows will end up on ABC.

his buddy Ackroyd still let him bang his wife

To trust the New AV Club, there’s never more than 3 tv shows on any given night.

She’s an actor / writer / producer who is convinced that she herself isn’t pretty, that she gets laid because she’s rich and famous (and not hot). Her insecurity bubbles under every comment she makes about her appearance (usually in the first 10 minutes of each set).

“double-barf”, like one guy puking twice, or “double-barf”, one guy puking and another guy getting nauseous seeing and smelling the first guy and the second guy puking as well? It’s different

...lemon curry?

Obviously he is free to live his life as he pleases, but personally I miss curvy Jim Rash to current “ripped like Ronda Rousey” Jim Rash.

he’s married to Heather Locklear, he’s doing fine

“The Product is You”

No, they’ll be pack animals that might defend their territory from interlopers; cats will be solitary, and won’t freak out if you walk on ‘their’ street.