Oh no, that’s it, I am totally getting a kitteh or two or five for my dog. He will eat their poop out of the litter box but I won’t care. They will hop around him like the crazed beasts that they are but he will love it and even though he’s really still a puppy he will father them. Ruined furniture? Bad rep for being…

I’m just going to throw this in here, very random: As a native New Yorker, have you been to the 9/11 Museum? I won’t go. I lived here downtown during it. There’s a crushed fire truck as an exhibit. 353 firefighters died on 9/11. Six died in Worcester, MA, not long before and it was like we had a national day of…

I think because it doesn’t really mean the same thing in lily-white, groovy, incredibly upscale, bro-centric Santa Barbara. I believe the name is a take on the founder’s name, and not the book that my grandmother loved reading to me as a small child. (My grandmother was a saint; see you in Heaven Nana.)

I texted the friend. Apparently we were the only people on earth who saw “Battleship.”

This is one of the most popular restaurants in Santa Barbara, always lines out the door, an incredibly beautiful setting. I’ve been more than once with my black husband. Oddly enough, he did not have a copy of “Little Black Sambo” growing up. I did!

Like everything in New York the movie-going experience is more difficult and more expensive than you would think. I’ve been to that Park Slope theater, only because I was visiting a friend who lives there and there’s nothing to do in Park Slope except get drunk or see a movie. (Or go to the Brooklyn Museum, but we’re…

So the judges are elected in Oakland County? They are in New York, too, with the predictable result that some are glad-handing hacks with dubious fifth-tier “Call 1-800-LAWYERZ to get your degree now!” pedigrees.

I’m almost certain I’m going to die in an embarrassing bathroom-related way (heart attack while on the toilet; slip and fall in the shower) AND that I’ll have a dog who’ll get a little hungry and think to itself, “Well, he’s dead, so I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I…”

They have (or used to have) amusement park rides at Oktoberfest in Munich. Where they sell beer by the liter. And men wear leather pants (lederhosen) that sometimes traditionally are never cleaned.

I love Florida. Like every New Yorker worth his salt we used to own a small apartment in Miami Beach. Sadly, we sold it, because we felt a little guilty warehousing an apartment that stood vacant 95% of the year, and guilty whenever we vacationed anywhere but Miami Beach (because what a waste of money when our second…

It’s been disgustingly humid here in New York for the last week so maybe that explains it? Were you out and about on Wednesday when it was so humid mist formed? That was fun. Nothing like navigating a tropical rain forest stocked with homicidal taxi drivers and bicyclists.

It’s so long ago that even I can’t remember what the Starr Report was about but it centered on Monica Lewinsky delivering a Lewinsky. That phrase has entered the consciousness of people of a certain age. It was something about President Clinton lying under oath (which he did) and he was disbarred and was set up for…

My husband is black. When we were rental apartment hunting in Manhattan 25 years ago I went on the tours with the realtors and took photos with a real camera to show him. My homosexuality didn’t faze anyone, but his skin color would have.

My dog concurs. He loves cats. They jump on him, swipe their paws at him, hiss at him, he can’t get enough. When they extend the voting franchise to canines (and surely that day will come soon enough) he’ll be pulling/pawing the lever for McCubbins.

All I know is that in my building we have several Israeli natives and they and their children love dogs, so we’ve set up a dog-walking kibbutz. Goyish that I am, I don’t speak Hebrew but my dog can now understand Hebrew commands.

Nope, I’m working through VPNs that track time spent on files on clients’ servers. There’s downtime and uptime. I bill in 15-minute increments. I like what I do for a living and I’m greedy so a 60-hour workweek is not really a hardship for me.

It’s not true:

I’m a huge fan of Midweek Madness, what can I say? I’m a huge fan of conspiracy theories of all kinds and have some dotty relatives who have told me, a resident of NYC, what really went on during 9/11 (they do not live here.) I listen with rapt attention. Some people garden or collect stamps; I listen to conspiracy…

I don’t know about political dynamite but I always vaguely wondered why the Clintons only had one child (up to them, of course; I know several parents who only had one child, but it was a little rarer in 1980, when Chelsea was born, and she is a Pisces by the way, the best of the Zodiac signs…where was I?)

It was a grand jury, so the DA handling the case (a pregnant DA; there’s no subtlety in the criminal justice system) started reading the counts against him and we couldn’t raise our hands fast enough to indict. Then it would have moved on to a criminal trial and a petit jury (like Law & Order, prosecutor, defense…