I found this little blurb from a 2014 Craigslist ad:

Hard to find manual is a real plus. But, as someone who has ‘refurbished’ a lowly 944, and shopped 928's, I can not even imagine the money pit this thing is. 928's are notorious for their wiring going bad. Not saying I know about this one, but it does not exactly look like it has had a thorough working-over lately.…

These are interference engines and a broken belt can mean fifteen to twenty grand in repairs

who knew a stock Kia SUV could accelerate that fast and launch like the general lee

What the heck, I’ll give it a spin since Kinja gave up on $kay

Look, I wanted to write something witty that accurately reflects my rage and annoyance at Pai and the rest of his ilk, but it doesn’t matter. This shit will pass as sure as Roy Moore is going to become a Senator. There’s only one thing left to say:

Now this is surprised!

Every alcoholic in Philly just felt a grave disturbance in the force.

And people eat it up as evidenced by whoever is clapping. “Fuck yea I’m seeing a wreck!”

Oh, and here’s another guess:

Fuck Drew, you’re right!

Prolly was high. Maybe he is supposed to have some greater purpose later in life, and the angels decided to cut him a break. In any case, humans are too large to use a squirrel strategy when at an intersection. I recommend waiting for the light.

You joke but considering all I have heard about esports I wouldn’t be surprised if there was Adderall or other ADD med abuse in the mix. That combined with the fact that while video games are technically sports they also involve hours and hours of sitting in one location with minimal movement so a DVT or other clot…

- The National Anthem before NFL games

“Flags. I fucking hate flags. You fucking hate flags. Everyone fucking hates flags.”