Emily Alford
emilyalford
Jun 24
9

These didn’t make it into the blog, but...Are they advocating for laws around booty and a special task force to enforce said laws?

Jun 12
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Hi! Um, wow!? I would love to hear every detail of that experience. Email ealford@jezebel.com if you want to talk a little bit about it. 

Jun 10
3

There will be no correct math in these or any of my writings. I’ve worked hard all my life to reject and avoid all of my formal number learning. If you are looking for sums that reach their logical conclusions, I must direct you elsewhere.

Apr 28
6

I could write a whole other essay on how angry I still am that challenge didn’t land Phi Phi in the bottom over Latrice. Justice for my angel Latrice.

Apr 15
20

Oops, added too many zeros to the calculator. The post has been updated to reflect the fact that Witherspoon is simply very, very rich and not as unfathomably rich as her bosses at Apple.

Apr 7
18

That typo plus your joke are the only funny thing about today. Just fixed it but now I’m wondering if I should have left it for others to enjoy. 

Apr 1
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I think of Susan Miller as a second mother. Maybe a first mother, since I actually listen to her advice. 

Apr 1
2

Sure but we are always last, given other signs’ hand me downs, and prone to tears about it. 

Mar 30
6

That picture was taken June 17, 2019 after a haircut. Truvy is ten, she just never grew. You can come for me but Miss Kennedy-Onassis is above reproach.

Mar 20
6

Vera! Thank you for reminding me that I have the option of watching Vera. 

Mar 20
6

Shetland is one of my all-time favorites, especially series three with Mance Rayder, and Loch Ness is an underrated gem that I cannot get anyone to watch. I never finished Single-Handed, but maybe I’ll give it another chance.

Mar 20
23

Midsomer Murders was my gateway drug into the drizzly world of English murder! Maybe I should rewatch a decade later since, you know, got a bit of time on my hands.

Mar 14
48

I’m so sorry about your stepdaughter, but thank you for this comment. My doctor seemed shocked at my reaction (and a little dismissive) so that all these years later, it’s like “wait did that really happen?” because even as a writer words cannot sufficiently explain that fucking nightmare of a day.

Feb 19
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I have been instructed to share this photograph of the man who once said he’d been nice to some women in response to allegations of sexual harassment.

Feb 19
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“Maybe they didn’t like the joke I told.” The audience is booing him.