Four whole home runs? That’s some good hitting! He batted something close to the MLB average last year (which is great for a pitcher), but it doesn’t change the fact that his career average is still in pitcher territory and thus doesn’t give him a whole lot of leeway to make macho comments about his wet newspapers.

Between this and the dumb, dumb shit he said regarding Max Scherzer’s comments on pitchers hitting (big fucking talk from a guy with a .160 career average), I’m happy to see that Bumgarner is shaping himself into the asshole I desperately wished him to be.

Addendum: Most of this is wholly irrelevant once you pass the age of 30. Also, don’t date casually. Start casually (as all things do), and either make it a thing or end it. Easy!

What makes it even worse is that he’s Simmons when he’s Good Desmond (with arguably a stronger arm and arguably more range), but he’s Simmons Minus The Appendage Of Your Choice when he’s Bad Desmond. As a Nats fan, I can deal with a consistently bad-fielding, good-hitting short stop. I can’t handle the Jekyll and Hyde…

Ooh yes, tannins. Those things that make your face pucker as though you accidentally ate the flesh of a pecan.

Eh, I dig wines that the wine tasting person describes as “spicy” and sometimes “leathery.” “Grilled” is a little too abstract for me, and I don’t even know what “empyreumatic” means and I won’t look it up.

I don't understand why it's trendy now to hate on brunch. Like, yes, some people overdo it and it goes on for hours and hours and it becomes a whole thing, but otherwise? What's so criminal about wanting to go out for breakfast food and booze at noon so as to pretend the weekend's not about to end? Sure, I can make…

I know in some states, the ID policy is as much about everyone buying alcohol HAVING identification on them as it is about them being old enough. I went to a (the only) bar in my hometown with my mother a year or so ago, where she literally went to high school with the people who own it, and was still made to show ID.…

I heard someone talking about limiting runner checks, maybe like 10 per game. After that, no more. I think it’s insane, but it would definitely improve offense while also speeding up the game.

As someone who also writes for a living, watching Drew I saw my worst fears realized: Having to say on camera what you only intended to be read on a page. I died inside when he had to recite his “sexy like Freitag, mean like Zakarian, and hairy like Conant” line.

Has there ever been a less interesting fighter than Clay Guida? I’ve never seen a guy make a career out of being really good at keeping his shoulders and hands up and just kind of standing there and throwing the occasional deflected takedown. If anything, he should be happy that college wrestling is declining, because…

Exactly. Also, I've found that when people feel strongly enough about something to write an article that states "I have this controversial opinion, and I don't feel bad about it," they usually do, or are lying.

Jesus Christ, typos.

Somehow, Curt Flood faced less racism.

FWIW, I've also heard people have success with changing up their macronutrient balance based on their training. You might want more carbs on days when you lift, for instance, and less when you don't. I'm not sure how much difference it makes in the grand scheme of things, and speculation as to such would definitely…

Yeah, I was gonna say. I feel like it might have been him singing live with his bros, though.

I remember watching this clip and whatever others I could of him doing it that I ripped from Napster hundreds, if not thousands of times my sr year of high school/freshman year of college. I am now a very accomplished and capable moonwalker, but for the longest time no amount of watching it in slow motion or reading…

I would run the fuck away if I saw that woman in a dimly lit alley.

Well, sure, but an ex is someone you did care about, at some point. And even if you presumably don't (since you're out on the prowl), it's still reasonable to have some thoughts/feelings about what or how it all went down without actively pining for the person.

Thoughtful, but: If your new squeeze who's bringing up your ex's appearance, it is she who is the monster. Also: