Lizzo and Missy Elliott Pay Homage to Thick Thighs, Post Malone Doesn't Wow, and Becky G Is Back

Oh hell friggin’ yeah: Lizzo ft. Missy Elliott, “Tempo” - Lizzo continues her streak of putting out ridiculously good singles as she teases her new album, Cuz I Love You, with this call to the dance floor. Lizzo and Missy both bring it as they pay homage to thick thighs, big butts, and your best girlfriends. “Slow…

Carly Rae Jepsen Goes Full-On Cat Lady, Iggy Azalea Falls Flat, and Selena Gomez Snores

Yeah: Carly Rae Jepsen, “Now That I Found You” (video) - This peculiar video stars one cat as the object of Carly’s obsession, which then multiplies into many cats. The cat is creepy at first; it watches Carly shower and does that thing cats do where they sit upright like humans, but ultimately it’s another living…

Mariah Carey Brings Glamour to the NYC Subway, Louis Tomlinson Mourns, and New Maren Morris

Y: Mariah Carey, “A No No” (video) - This video looks like a giant bag of cotton candy exploded in a subway car and everybody just proceeded to have a good time dancing while Mariah Carey stood by singing and looking glamorous. Note her use of air quotes when she sings “irregardless.” Obviously, it’s showtiiime! —

Solange Embodies Effortless Cool, Carly Rae Jepsen's Passable and A Star Is Born Again

Y: Ellie Goulding, “Flux” - As far as ascending, sentimental piano pop ballads go, I was not expecting greatness from Ellie Goulding. “Flux” is good—minimal only in musicality (she goes there with her vocals)—a soft dirge for a past relationship gone awry. I still miss her big, blockbuster-sized anthems, but this…

Bebe Rexha Is No Provocateur, Kehlani Is a Force, and O-Town and the Bachelor Team Up

No: Bebe Rexha, “Last Hurrah” (music video) - Last week my colleague Ashley Reese compared the chorus of Rexha’s latest, “Last Hurrah,” to T-Pain’s “Buy U A Drink” and she was right on the money. For what the song lacks in originality, the music video lacks in... substance and subtlety? A tattooed woman sticks a…

Ariana Grande's a Mess, Cuco's Polished, and MARINA Enters a New Era

It’s a no from me: Ariana Grande, “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” - All good things must come to end and unfortunate for Arianators, the warning signs have been there since “7 Rings.” Grande dropped her album thank u, next on Friday and unlike the title track, it’s not straight fire: Grande, who is white,

Billie Eilish Buries a Friend, Nicki Minaj Is Bored, and Luis Fonsi Evolves

Yeah, okay: Billie Eilish, “bury a friend” - The last time I reviewed a Billie Eilish track for this site (“Lovely” ft. Khalid), I wrote that the teenage pop experimentalist does “one particular thing very well, and she does it in every song she releases: whisper-sung vocals and ethereal production that lifts only so…

Weezer Is Unlistenable But Maren Morris Delights

Close, but no: Julia Michaels, “Anxiety” feat. Selena Gomez - Right off the bat, Julia Michaels tries too hard on this song: Over laidback strumming, Michaels talk-sings “My friends, they wanna take me to the movies/ I tell them to fuck off, I’m holding hands with my depression.” Michaels’ earlier songs are strikingly…

Cardi B Creates a Twerk Haven, and Ariana Grande Finds Happiness in Spending

Yes, but do not watch this at work: City Girls, “Twerk,” feat. Cardi B (video) - Ass appreciation is the obvious centerpiece here, but also note the impressive feline body paint, which made a Jezebel staffer comment that Cardi B should’ve starred in Cats. Is this a way of reclaiming the music-video aesthetic of male…

Normani and Sam Smith Wanna Dance With Strangers, and Bhad Bhabie (Sorry) Does It Again

Overall yes, with a couple of caveats: Sam Smith and Normani, “Dancing With a Stranger” – I haven’t stopped listening to this since this morning, which is a testament to two things: How good Normani sounds on this R&B dance number, and the catchiness of the hook. Regardless of whether it’s Normani or Sam Smith belting,…

Pitbull Samples Toto's 'Africa' (Yes), and Ariana Grande Slows It Down on 'Imagine'

Sure: Pitbull, “Ocean to Ocean,” feat. Rhea - On paper, the concept of this song is a travesty. Why is Pitbull sampling Toto’s “Africa”? Why is it for the Aquaman soundtrack??? But it is the holidays, and I’m in a giving mood, and this song is actually good. “They tried to get rid of me/But from ocean to ocean, they…

Robyn Covers 'Last Christmas,' Another Drab Zayn Song, and Some Satanic Beatboxing

Y: Natti Natasha, “Me Gusta” NATTI NA. Everyone is really trying to finish the year off on a strong note, huh? I see you! Natasha is the kind of talent that will creep up on you if you’re not paying attention. I get the feeling she’s a perfectionist, and honestly I don’t mind waiting for new music from her if this…

Miley Cyrus Possibly Finds Her Place, and Kelly Rowland Talks Her Shit

Unabashedly, yes: Mark Ronson feat. Miley Cyrus, “Nothing Breaks Life a Heart” - It seems Miley has finally found her place (as opposed to all the other places she’d like to appropriate, excuse me, occupy) and guess what? It’s not bad! In fact, it’s really good! A pop song with country twang and her affecting…

Zayn and Nicki Minaj Can't Handle Liars, and Katy Perry Gifts Us a Cheap Christmas Song

Will pass: Zayn Malik and Nicki Minaj, “No Candle No Light” - Nicki Minaj tends to spread herself thin with collaborations, but there used to be a time when it was worth it. This Zayn track is what would play if you were running through a forest in search of your long-lost love. Notice it has a similar squeaky,…

J. Lo and Bad Bunny Have Incredible Swag Together, and Shawn Mendes Did Something Kinda Good

Y: Jennifer Lopez and Bad Bunny, “Te Guste” – At some point, my hot mom decided it would be cool and cute to collaborate with my boyfriend, and honestly I’m not even mad. Yes, when he says things like “Tu tienes un tesoro debajo del zipper,” aka You have a treasure behind your zipper, I get a little uncomfortable, but…

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