Back in high school my best friend mentioned he was thinking about replacing his Pinto Wagon (that his dad swapped in a manual to replace a dying automatic) for a Saab. This being pre-internet, Sunday mornings were spent car shopping in the classified section of the newspaper, and I found an affordable Saab on a used…

There’s a word for gluing back together an Italian car.  That word is “Upgrade”.

Ten years ago, maybe.  But my child is now an adult and no longer wants a fort.

I’ve always felt HD has two main demographics: People who are lawyers who don’t want to look like lawyers, and people who aren’t lawyers who want to look like lawyers.

easier to get in with that skirt/jacket ensemble?

I’m still trying to understand the sales pitch...”hassle cops, it’ll be worth it”

Rude? I dunno, but I do get frustrated and use harsh language. In my defense three red lights in a row, each 600' apart?  Every f-ing day?!

The one about car-tag reminded me of the time we had a college class trip to some manufacturing place, and since no school busses in college, we carpooled. At the end of the tour they had a bunch of giveaway items...pens, magnets, etc. I remember we took all of the magnets, and were tossing them out the car windows…

Norelco

I used to drive an old pickup that was built in the Pleistocene, before antilock brakes.  I learned that while a horn can convey to another driver that they’ve done something idiotic, skidding tires are soooo much more effective in this capacity.  

I once paid a lawyer to contest a ticket but never have I done it myself. A friend did though, he was clocked 15 over or something and when he asked to see the radar gun the cop told him he’d already cleared it. He decided to contest it. The day he was pulled over it was absolutely frigid...like 15 below. His defense…

I was in my early ‘20's, living in Kansas City in an apartment that didn’t have covered parking. I had a car and a motorcycle, but I kept the motorcycle in my parents’ garage off in a suburb, and would head over to ride it when I could. The first nice day of spring I headed over there to get it cleaned up for the…

I’ve been traveling 70+ on a perfectly clear road, only to crest a hill and find the other side has sheet ice from the wind blowing snow across the road and previous cars squeezing it into ice.  I’ve since learned that winter preparedness means (among other things) bringing a change of pants.

The worst since Reagan Bran!

I seem to remember seeing a car commercial with a car just driving lazily down the road, but in small print along the bottom of the screen it said “Professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt”.

This is nothing. Comer now has credible evidence that Joe Biden himself did not scrunch down the inner bag, which directly led to half a box of Cheerios becoming stale.

No mention of the tighty whities of the guy wiping the window in that top picture.

A neighbor’s relative had one and would drive it into the neighborhood occasionally. Normal looking guy when standing nowhere near the car, but behind the wheel just looked like a twat who is trying too hard. I know: feature, not a bug.

Around here it’s “I’m gonna buy a Jeep, I’m gonna get a yellow lab, I’m gonna put a bandana around the dog’s neck, and I’m gonna drive around with the top off and my dog riding copilot. Then I’m gonna trade it in on a Rav4.