Having taught and brought up teenagers, it honestly looks to me more like a really angry boy wrote this.

10:1 it was written by a dude.

Sadly, purchase of the game is supposed to be the age gate, as all the games are supposed to only be sold to 18 year olds and older. But kids still get their hands on these games in droves and, seeing as they have no social etiquette or respect for the common man, treat everyone like vile pieces of trash. It's why I…

It's the red dot.

Well.... when GTA4 can be modded to look like this you can't really blame them.

She is so punk rock. This is like some GG Allin-level shit. Oi! Oi! Oi!

My favorite thing about these types of articles is the first 45-1hr of it being published in which every comment is positive and supportive. It shows the core of kotaku. That 90% of the people who regularly read what's posted are genuinely good people. Thank you for being awesome guys.

Not sorcery, science. She died years ago and that's just an enbalmed corpse equipped with state-of-the-art animatronics. Just look at those dead glass eyes.

She is out Nickelbacking her husband.

Being dumpy makes you bad at all the things.

1. He claimed they had no sexual contact. Then, they found his jizz up her ass. Then, he claimed he had consensual sex.

You're sure going to great lengths to pick defend a rapist. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Allow me to respond to your question with a question. If you blacked out and woke up with semen in your anus, what would you call that?

If she wakes up not remembering anything but puking, that's called rape. Also, this:

Maybe the part about the anal swab? Or the part where he completely changed his story?

"DNA found in her hair, on her tank-top, and on an anal swab matched that of Lueke's, despite the fact that he'd said there was no physical contact between him and the victim. After his arrest, he changed his story, telling police they'd had consensual sex."

It should go without saying that if someone is too intoxicated to remember an event, they're also too intoxicated to consent.

"Pardon my apparently stupid question"

Just stop typing if you're going to begin with that.