A cab driver almost hit me on my bike two years ago when I had to swerve to avoid a pedestrian who stepped into the bike lane on Bleecker. He also honked his horn. The press never reported anything about it.

Her opponent later admitted that it was the longest he ever lasted with a girl.

Cut them some slack. Their Director of Ethics died in the Bowling Green Massacre and they’re still too distraught to find a replacement.

That’s code for; “I might not completely agree with him, but thank God he’s doing something about all these brown people.”

Whether or not he ages well will determine his value.

I’m torn. I’m a veteran of the 1st Iraq Shit Show and the Cold War. I didn’t join out of patriotism, I was in a crappy small town and I wanted out. It worked. Being the military actually MADE me a Liberal. (Kind of hard to hate people for the color of their skin when you share a life with them, hard to hate…

hillary just as bad! right?! FUCKING E-MAILS RIGHT?!

There’s only only one King Cake-Baby in America (even if he did only win the electoral college).

It’s a good thing we have the National Security Council, filled with competent and informed people, to advise Trump about stuff like this.

that is a retired NHL player crushing the Grammy Award-winning artist Justin Bieber.

no one in their right mind would ever fuck them?

“The coronation is over. The people of King’s Landing do not care about the Lannisters’ debts.”

To be fair, I don’t think Trump was referring to Langer when he said “that German guy had some interesting thoughts.”

He’s just like his boss: can’t win an election, but can get rich giving revolting speeches afterwards.

It’s kind of a perfect parallel. He’s got the brother who’s undeniably worse yet somehow wins more.

It seems hypocritical to keep referring to it as an egg and not a chicken.

“These so-called Patriots are putting hard working Steelers out of work! We need to bring back the industries! Sad!”

At this point I’m just hopeful that Lady Gaga shit-talks Trump. The angerbear tweets from the 2nd half will be terrific.

Imagine this... Brady’s speech as he accepts MVP trophy: “I have been talking about this with my family, and so at this time I would like to announce my retirement. Thanks to all the fans who voted to award me this MVP trophy and who have rooted for me throughout my career. And to Roger Goodell, I would just like to…

Absolutely! He should maybe set up a private email server, too!